A New Creation

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This has always been one of the hardest verses for me to grasp at times. 

Granted I know my journey is one that will take my own lifetime and it will never, never be perfect. 

Some of my sins are gone and I have become a new creation in my thinking and actions. And then there are still things that God is working on. I will always be a work in progress.

I am so thankful I have true friends who are loving me through this work in progress called the Christian life and despite my faults.

An Everlasting Love

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I do believe that everyone has heard the saying God is love. Many believe it to be true and many do not, yet scripture tells us over and over again that it is.

Even at a young age, if you grew up going to church, you heard that God is love and that He loves us. We even sang songs that said red, yellow, black & white we are all precious in His sight. If we are precious in His sight then we are loved.

Heck, even the most well known Bible verse is John 3:16, which states For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

I still, to this day have a hard time realizing how much God loves me. Not only did He send His Son Jesus to die for my sins…He loves me enough to forgive me, and hold me tight as I have cried myself to sleep many a night saying I’m sorry.

He formed me in my mother’s womb. He knows how many hairs I dont have on my head anymore. He knows my appointed time to die. He knows me, and yet He loves me.

God embodies the “love” chapter in scripture.

1 Corinthians 13

Let’s break this down a little differently.

Love (God)is patient.Can you imagine the amount of patience it takes to deal with me? A person who fails daily. A person who many times can’t make up his freaking mind. Many times since accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior have I envisioned God putting His hand on His head and going really Stuart.

Heck, think of Adam for a second. He was giving the authority to name ALL the animals. Can you imagine Adam staring at this half duck half beaver and going what the Heck God, I got nothing. Then he decides to call in a Platypus. How long did he stare at that Platypus until he decided to call it that? God is patient. 

Love (God) is kind. God is not up in heaven going oh well…let’s see how we can twist everyone’s life up today. No, far from it. 

Love (God) is not envious.

Love (God) is not boastful.

Love (God) is not proud. 

Love (God) does not dishonor others.

Love (God) is not self-seeking.

Love (God) is not easily angered.

Love (God) keeps no record of wrongs. Once you accept Christ as your personal Lord and Savior all your sins were placed on Him. Your sins are remembered no more. According to Psalms 103:12 God has removed our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west.

Love (God) does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

Love (God) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love (God) never fails. 

God formed each of us so lovingly and carefully within our mother’s womb.


Before we were even born He loved us. While we were yet sinners He loved us. When we accept Christ He rejoices. He loves when we commune with Him and even when we do not.

Simply put God Loves Us from before we we born and though out an eternity with him…an everlasting love.

The Impossible Is Possible

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All those struggles you have been trying to overcome on your own…give them to God. He alone has the answers to your questions. He alone will give you the direction to overcome. 

God forgives, redeems and restores! It does not matter if it is smoking, porn, gambling, stealing, drinking, or any other sin. All you to is ask Him to forgive you, repent and watch what God can and will do in your life.

A Letter To My Future Wife

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A dear brother in the Lord wrote this letter for his future wife. I thought it was just so beautiful I had to share. I am so thankful he said yes when I asked him if I could share….so without further ado….

To my future wife

You may be wondering why I am writing to you in this journal. Well, it’s just that the theme is love, and I couldn’t resist.
 
I don’t know who you are and where you are yet. I trust in God’s will and timing, though I long to meet you so much. I cannot talk to you yet, but this shall suffice. My Sister in Christ, know that I love you and I am praying for you. I cannot wait for the day someday when I will be able to woo you off your feet. There are so many things I would like to do with you. I can already envision birthdays, Valentine’s Days, Christmases, spontaneous excursions, and the mundane moments of life that become special because I’m with you.
 
Even more than that, I want to worship my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ, with you. I want to pray with you, study God’s Word with you, do ministry with you, counsel other couples with you, raise kids with you, and simply be together.
 
I want to give you the very best. I desire to obey Jesus and be a “one-woman man” like 1 Timothy 3 describes. I desire to live in purity – physically, emotionally, relationally, and sexually for Jesus and you. At times, it is so hard to wait for you, but I know you’re worth the wait. I don’t want to simply desire purity but live in it. I know He desires for me to walk in purity until our wedding day and onward together. His ways are for our best and our good. Satan may tempt me and I may waver, but I will wait for you. I don’t know how long it will be before I see you and meet you, but, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I will persevere. This is what the Father has in store for me, for you, and for our marriage.
 
When I say that you are worth the wait, I don’t want you to feel like you have to prove it. You are worth it, my Bride and my Love. You alone are my standard of beauty. No other woman can compare. For you alone does my heart desire (save Jesus, of course). I can tell already that you are beautiful, that you are lovely, and that you are cute! Do not doubt my love for you; as I write, I long for you, and I catch a glimpse into the heart of Christ as He wants and longs for His bride, the Church.
 
I can tell you now that your beauty is matchless. No woman that I have seen thus far and no woman in the future will compare. You have no comparison, no equal, and no competition! You may think to yourself that I cannot make such declarations because I have yet to see you. Love, you are the standard of beauty for me. I only see you. You are the definition of beauty for me. Even though you may not fit within the current cultural definitions of beauty, know that I consider you beautiful – and so does God!
 
And, it’s not just external beauty that I talk about, of course. You are lovely in appearance, but your character shines brightest. It only makes you all the more attractive and disarming to the eyes. When I see you worship, when I see you pray, when I see your heart for the lost, when I see your compassion, when I see your obedience to the Lord, when I see you sacrifice for others, when I see your study of the Word – everything – I fall for you all the more. In my mind’s eye, I can see all those things happening, and I smile to myself. Daughter of God, how beautiful you are! You have been purchased with the precious blood of the Lamb; what is of more worth than Jesus? Your worth is infinite, daughter of the King.
 
More than anything, I will endeavor to have our marriage magnify and glorify our Savior. My Love, let us leave a Christ-exalting legacy. My family history is tough; it’s riddled with broken, loveless marriages. My family is not full of Christians, and together we mark a new chapter in our family histories. In that way, I am a patriarch and you are a matriarch. What we do today will affect generations from now. By the grace of God, we can leave a legacy of Jesus-founded marriages to the glory of God. I pray that Jesus may fill us with His Holy Spirit and empower us to do such a wondrous work to His fame. It is reminiscent of the generations of Israel in the Old Testament. By God’s grace and sovereignty, He would raise up a generation of faithful men and women of God in the midst of a long line of idolatry and apostasy. We’re like those people – saved by grace through faith. It’s amazing that what we do for His glory is also what is best for us and brings us the most joy!
 
Right now, I just want you to know that I am the luckiest guy in the world to have you. You are a tangible expression of Jesus’ grace in my life and I cannot wait to be your future husband. To be honest, I’m a hopeless romantic (not sure if you can tell!) I want to amaze you. I want to romance you. I want to have adventures with you. It can be adventures around the world or to the supermarket. No matter what the adventure, I know it will be special because I have you by my side. I don’t want to just sweet talk you – to tell you what you want to hear. I want to show you that my words carry weight. See what I mean by my actions. That is how you will know that I am truly your one-woman man.
 
My soul yearns for you. I desire you, my Bride. I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but know that I’m thinking of you. I pray that you are well, my Sister in Christ. May you have sweet and frequent communion with the biggest man in your life, Jesus Christ. I hope to take you on adventures beyond your wildest dreams, yet Jesus will always be the center of it all. He will be our greatest affection – set apart from all other loves, including each other. Let us practice loving Jesus more than life itself and seeking Him above all while apart. But, when we come together, it’ll be glorious; we’ll be husband and wife worshiping the King of Glory together. It’s beautiful for a husband and wife to remember the broken body and the blood spilt by our Savior for our salvation as we take communion together – the same body and blood spilt to establish the church, the Bride of Christ.
 
You know, writing to you is no easy task. It would be a much easier task if I knew who you were. But, you know what, that’s the fun of it. You see me as a single guy writing to you. I’m sure my future self will laugh over this letter, but cut me some slack. This is not an easy task. Actually, this isn’t even a task, but a joy to write to my lovely wife. It’s all worth it to see you smile and to hear you laugh. Sure, your laughter is at my expense, but that’s what a husband is for, right?
 
Lastly, know that I expect nothing in return from you. My love is not contingent on you writing me an awesome letter like this. Moreover, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I will love you like Christ loves the Church. I will love you with no expectation of anything in return and with no regard to your former sins or sins committed against you; because in Christ your sins have been forgiven and you have been clothed with His righteousness. Never think that you aren’t worthy of my affections. I’m more broken and messed up than you know (though it will become increasingly evident, I’m sure), and if you can receive the perfect love of Christ, you can receive my imperfect love from an imperfect me. Full disclosure, though, I’m going to knock your socks off.
 
Love,

Your Future Husband

#FEARLESS365 | 1 SAMUEL 12:20

I am honored to be able to participate in this yearlong study of God’s Word.

Follow along and see others perspective on scripture as well as what God reveals to each of us during this journey.

#FEARLESS365 is a yearlong study of God’s commandment to us to live without fear. For 365 days, we will focus on one scripture and volunteers from all over the world will share their personal thoug…

Source: #FEARLESS365 | 1 SAMUEL 12:20

Despite Our Wickedness We Still Must Follow

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This is such a powerful verse.

Samuel, despite what the people thought, was telling them that even with all their sins they should not turn away from following God. He told them to serve Him with all their heart.

This gives me hope. I mess up all the time. I am by no means remotely perfect. I sin…daily. I have committed so many in my 49 years on this earth and yet I must continue to follow the Lord. I must continue to serve Him despite my thoughts on my shortcomings.

If I follow the Lord and serve Him with all my heart, despite my sins,  others will see Him working in me. And that, in turn, could bring them to wanting a relationship with Him.

My children will see that despite my struggles I still place my trust in God.

That my dear friends is what it is all about.

Parenthood: Traversing The Potholes In Life

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I don’t know about you, but when I go walking with someone I am usually by their side, slightly ahead or slightly behind that person. But you can’t share and talk if you are not close by each other…I do know that.

The thing about being a parent is that we are to walk with our children and teach them, even when they call us nuts, ole fashion or just plain stupid.

You can walk in front, a little, so you can make sure there are no potholes in the road, but you will more than likely keep looking back to make sure they are ok, which might make you trip. You can walk behind them ever so gently nudging them along their way, but they may not see that pothole because you have never shown them what one looks like and trip. Or you can walk beside them, holding their hand, pointing out the potholes and helping them avoid them all together.

Now granted we, parents, have made our fair share of mistakes in our lives and a lot of them we had to face all by ourselves and learn how that felt, what the consequences where and how to avoid it. And even through those experiences we still find ourselves tripping over potholes, because even though we filled that last one in with fresh gravel or cement, there are new ones ahead that we have not faced..
 
We may not consider ourselves wise, but we HAVE learned through our mistakes. And that learning is what we need to use as we walk with our children and shepherd them.

And yes, our children will become wise as they walk in our “wisdom”. And they will grow wiser than us…for there are some very big potholes for this generation that we have never seen or would even want too, honestly.
 
Pray that God allows you the quality time with your children so that you may share your wisdom openly and honestly.

God Bless,

Stu

Proverbs 13:20

He who walks with the wise becomes wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

The Struggle Is Real: Erectile Dysfunction In Marriage

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Folks, I need to be completely honest here. Sex is amazingly awesome!! The sad thing is that as we men get older IT is harder to maintain an erection and that can wreak havoc on the sex life and a man’s heart.

Some Potential Causes

Now, there are a gazillion reasons why this is happening in so many men. Some of those reasons can be medical issues like heart disease, physical disabilities like multiple sclerosis, which I have, or just a mind thing.                

It could also be habitual issues like smoking or consuming too much alcohol prior to sex. Did you know that smoking will actually clog your veins and keep the blood from flowing properly?

Smoking and Nicotine

The risk of smoking to your erectile health is specifically due to the effects of cigarette chemicals on the blood vessels in the penis. An erection results when the arteries in the penis expand and fill with blood after receiving signals from nerves in the penis. The nerves are responding to sexual arousal signals from the brain. Even if the nervous system is operating at full strength, an erection might not be physically possible if the blood vessels are unhealthy due to smoking. (1)

Many believe that too much caffeine can be a cause but after reading up on this I disagree and here is why:

Caffeine and Blood Flow

Because caffeine can act as a vasoconstrictor, a substance that narrows blood vessels, it has been postulated to worsen ED. But the effects of caffeine on blood flow may seem a bit contradictory. Initially, a mild constriction of blood flow can occur, but this effect is temporary and not common in habitual caffeine consumers. Caffeine primarily acts as a vasodilator, which means it improves blood flow — which can be beneficial to ED. Caffeine also stimulates the central nervous system, causing a sudden burst of energy and alertness. Interestingly, caffeine is the most widely consumed stimulant in the world. Caffeine is consumed in the diets of 89 percent of US adults on a daily basis, with 70 percent of this caffeine consumption coming from coffee, according to a study published in the May 2015 issue of “American Society for Nutrition.” (2)

Guys, have you ever ridden a bicycle only to have our groin hurt afterwards?

Bicycling finishes first. Injuries related to bicycle riding topped the list for ED visits, with 383,790 ED visits in 2013, or nearly 14% of all reported sports-related injuries. It was the top injury category for males 18-44 and 45-64, and the second most-frequent category for females of all ages. Bicycling was also the most-cited reason for inpatient stays overall. (3)

It could be stress from work.

It could be that he feels no desire or a want from the one he loves.

It could be the fact that he is afraid the kids will wake up and come to your room.

It could also be from over thinking on the problem instead of just enjoying each other.

It could be caused by all the crap (chemicals) they put in foods now a days. I know for certain that you can eat certain foods like watermelon, broccoli and herbs and it will help with this issue.

It could be the fact that a woman in his past compared him to another past lover saying how much bigger he was or how long he could last and then his current love brings up a past lover and how good they were. Maybe that love actually starts talking with an old boyfriend…for whatever reason. That, my friends, will play mind games on any man…trust me.

His mind can wreak havoc on his libido. If he has lost his erection several times in a row, he may begin to think that there is no use in trying because it will not work.

It could be that he has been viewing porn on the side and is masturbating to it. That will cause the mind to become use to seeing multiple women with the click of a button. Maybe, he just fast-forwards to the “shot”…instant gratification.

Sadly, porn truly does alter your man’s brain patterns. He will become accustom to not having to have any intimacy to reach orgasm. Porn is a quick fix. Having to work up his woman, for the porn addict, requires work which he is not used to doing anymore.

Trust me, porn will kill intimacy and your sex life.             

If he reaches orgasm before his love does, more than likely he will feel as if he has failed as a lover, despite the fact that he could do other things to help her reach orgasm after he has.

There have been many times that I felt like a failure as a man because I could not maintain mine sometimes. It hurts like hell trying to figure out what just happened when I was so aroused just a short while ago.

It cuts us men to the core. It’s not that we are being selfish when we wish it would stay up so that we could have sex longer. It is honestly the fact that the physical act of making love is our way of bonding with the one we love, at least for me, and we need it so desperately.

It is also in the fact that we want to please our love. Yes, we can please each other in different ways to reach orgasm. Men can even have an orgasm without having an erection but it is the physical penetration and the movement of both bodies in unison that we crave. And when things get heated up…you both want the physical penetration and then “he” slowly starts to lose his hardness before that can happen, that can kill the moment for both of you and that hurts.

I wish there was an easy answer as to how to fix the issue. I truly do. But there is not one.

I will say that if you smoke…quit.

If you are watching porn…quit. Once you stop your brain will actually start repairing itself from the negative pathways porn has put there in regards to how you view your love, sex and life in general.

It’s honestly hard to explain. I’ve tried to explain why it hurts me so bad, but I can’t truly explain it. Maybe it’s a pride issue that says men are supposed to stay hard. Maybe it’s all those years of watching porn and seeing those guys maintain theirs even after orgasm. Maybe it’s an accumulation of it all.

Hell, I don’t know for certain…

I know it hurts me deeply.

But, whatever the reason is please be patient and loving with your man letting him know that you love him and desire him despite his lack of hardness.

One thing I do know ladies, from talking with men who suffer from this issue, is that your man still finds you to be very attractive, beautiful and sexy. So please do not think that you are to blame for this.

Ladies, as a man who has suffered and still suffers from this on occasion here are a few things you can do to help your love. First and foremost is to continue to show love and affection towards him. Continue to play with his penis even if it is soft by licking or kissing it. He still will get pleasure from it AND it will let him know you still want him. Let him know that it is ok and that you still desire him.

Now would also be a good time to let him know what he can do with his tongue, palm and fingers to please you…if you have not done so already.

Men, if you are concerned over your lack of hardness please bring it to your loves attention. Pray about it together. Yes…God cares about it. He designed it to work and bring pleasure to the both of you. So you both need to be in prayer.

I wish there was a biblical solution that I could reference here…but I have yet to see any references for this in scripture.

One thing I do know is that you should seek professional help from a certified Urologist.

God Bless,

Stu

           References

1 Can Smoking Cigarettes Cause Impotence? (n.d.). Retrieved July 26, 2016, from http://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/impotence-and-smoking#SmokingandBloodVessels2

2 Can Caffeine Cause Erectile Dysfunction? (2016). Retrieved July 26, 2016, from http://www.livestrong.com/article/28032-can-caffeine-cause-erectile-dysfunction/

3 Bike Riding Most Common Sports-Related Reason for ED Visits and Inpatient Admissions. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.apta.org/PTinMotion/News/2016/8/10/SportsRelatedEDVisits/

Here is a great article on Erectile Dysfunction by my friends over at I Am The Sex Talk Lady. Great site you should check out!

marital intimacy: addressing “fellare phobia”

Such a wonderful post on the fears women have of performing oral sex on their husbands.

larrysmusings

This post is in answer to the many comments on Christian marriage blogs by wives who lament, justify and rationalize their unwillingness to give oral sex to their husband.

fear

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