Life Is Like A Box Of Lego Pieces

Tags

Building bridges, Family, Father & son time, Fatherhood, Lego, Life, Raising Godly Children, Relationships, Son

 

I took Brandon to a Lego Challenge event yesterday. In this event he had to build different size bridges that would be able to withstand a certain amount of weight.

So we woke up really early and headed to Shreveport. On the way he told me that he was nervous about doing this. I asked why and his response was that there will be people there he didn’t know and he was afraid that he would not be able to build a strong enough bridge.

I compared this event to his Taekwondo tournaments. I explained that this event was no different from going to a tournament and getting out there in front of all those people and doing his form, sparring and breaking boards. And that even though he does his best at everything someone is better and someone is not as good as he his. That’s why there are gold, silver and bronze medals.

He goes I will do my best daddy. I said I know you will and smiled. He smiled back back…I knew he was good to go then.

Once we arrived at the event he was rearing to go. They explained that there would be four stages with the first stage being a seven-inch bridge that could hold the weight of at least ninety pennies.

He dives into the box of Lego pieces and commences building his first bridge. He nails the ninety penny weight so they continued adding pennies until his bridge collapsed. It held the weight of one hundred and twenty pennies. He was stoked.

As he was building his foot long bridge, which was stage two, he starts helping some of the other kids build their bridges. So cool watching him do this and offering advice on which Lego pieces to use to add more structure to their bridge.

He nails the foot long bridge stage with the weight of two hundred and fifty pennies. His bridge, and the little girl he helped, didn’t even bow under the weight.

The last two stages were the most challenging as the bridge had to increase in length to one and a half feet and then two feet. Brandon gets the bridge built and before he places it across the gap in the tables he sees it bowing really bad on the right side. He grabs two Lego pieces and then smiles.

He places it across the gap. It holds up to the required weight.

He looks at me and goes I don’t think I can do the next stage. It’s too long and there are not many pieces left. I’m like, yes you can, just use your imagination. I’m here if you need help.

He only asked for my help twice. Once to pull apart two Lego pieces that he could not take apart. And then to help with the measurement.

He looks at all the pieces in the different boxes, grabs a few out of each both and starts going to town. He keeps measuring and building for about fifteen minutes and goes ok I think I’m ready.

He puts it across the gap. He asks if he can put the pennies on there this time. They say yes.

Brandon does it differently than the event leader did. Instead of placing them in the center he spreads the pennies out like they were cars. Cool idea.

Sadly, his bridge broke at the one hundred and seventy penny mark. He was a little upset but still smiling. He just looked at me and said “Daddy, I didn’t make it strong enough.”

I said “Don’t worry about that son. Look at what you accomplished. You made it to the fourth round by building something bigger than you ever have before. I am very proud of you. You did awesome.”

Brandon ended up in second place. His prize was a Captain America bobble head. Totally cool.

He had so much fun that no sooner did we get in the car he asked when the next one was. 🙂

I guess you are probably wondering why in the world am I sharing just a random story in the life of me and my son.

Well, when it comes to days with my kids, I have come to realize that everything has a reference to God and my journey…and even other people’s journeys. You can read about a couple of those references HERE and HERE.

This day just reminded me of how God has helped me mend or completely restore broken bridges that collapsed due to one thing or another in my life.

It is kind of like building a Lego bridge. Heck, life is like a box of Lego pieces with different parts and pieces fitting together.

You have to start small and continue building until the bridge is structurally strong, with open and honest communication, forgiveness and a whole lot of prayer. Sort of like the bridge my dad and I are working on. Little blocks first…

 

From A Porn Scene Mentality To Intimacy With Your Wife

Tags

Body massage, Husband, Intimacy, Orgasm, Passion, Pleasure, Pornography, Sex In Marriage, Sexual Integrity, Wife, Your wife's pleasure matters

This is something that has been on my heart for a while now guys and honestly, I may lose some followers after this post or I may gain a few.

I have been a recovering porn addict for almost six years now and through my various ministries on social media have had many wives reach out to me with questions. Many of them have shared their pain, their hurt and their stories with me.

I knew what viewing porn did to me spiritually, physically and mentally but my wife at the time never opened up to me as to what it did to her. She never shared with me the hurt and pain till much later. And hearing these stories from wives tears me up I tell you.

For a while I thought I was the only one hearing these stories because when I started blogging not too many others were truly speaking out against pornography per se.

It’s cool that now more bloggers are speaking out against porn. Many of these bloggers are ones that I personally follow, so of course I will read their post. Sometimes I read the comments and sometimes I don’t depending on the topic. (Sorry guys, just being honest.)

The reason I do read the comments is to see what others think and at times I want to comment but don’t because, if you have followed me at all, I’m honest with my words but I don’t think them through sometimes. By that I mean, though being honest and up front with my comment I could hurt someone inadvertently. And I don’t want to do that.

And it’s because I can actually hear the pain in their comment and it just breaks my heart, whether it be male or female comments. So instead of commenting I pray for them.

When I do comment it’s usually to say what an awesome post it is and thank them for sharing their thoughts.

So with all that said, allow me to ask a few questions….

When does the porn scene start?

Does it begin when she gets naked? Or does it really begin when the actual act of penetration begins?

When does the porn scene end?

Come on guys, be real, and admit it ends when the guy or guys have an orgasm.

Let me interject that, for me, they started when she took her clothes off and yes it ended when the man/men had orgasm.

Here in lies the problem of ONE of my hurts when it comes to reading comments. Some, not all, men who struggle with porn have a very hard time realizing that their spouse is not getting the full enjoyment from sex. Some are in such a rush to get to intercourse and the end result that they are, without realizing it, taking advantage of their wife. That may seem harsh but allow me to explain.

Your wife, the one woman you chose above all others, is a sexual being just like you. She deserves to feel as much pleasure out of making love as you, if not more. The reason I say more is because there is this amazing thing about women…they can have multiple orgasms in a row if we take the time to get her to that point.

And you can not get her to that point if you are thinking that making love to her is like a porn scene. You will not know what gets her to that point either if you don’t get to know what triggers her to get excited. Seeing you naked will not get her there. And, for most women, feeling you inside her will not get her there either. Plus, she wants to feel like she is actually involved in the act and not just laying there for you to get off.

Guys, let’s forget EVERYTHING porn has taught us!!

Take the time to actually get to know every inch of your spouses body. Touch every part and kiss every part…all the while with your eyes open to see her reactions. If she twitches or moans remember that spot and come back to it. Take your time.

Give her a full body massage with some flavored lotion and then follow it up with kisses.

There is more to your wife’s vagina than just her clitoris too. I know that is her main sensation spot but there is so much more to explore…so explore. Give her attention down there. Use your hands, your fingers, your tongue, and your mouth during foreplay.

Make love to her! Kiss her! Hold her the whole time. Let her know how much you love her by pleasing her to the max. Does she not deserve it? After all, she is your treasure from the Lord.

Her pleasure is just as important as yours. She craves your touch and affection. Give it freely.

Be her husband and lover. Let your scene begin when you touch each other and end when you both collapse after the most intimate, sensual, loving, pleasurable experience for the both of you.

 

Do We Cheer Or Condemn With Our Words And Actions?

Tags

Addiction, Adultery, Condemnation, Freedom, God, Grace, Jesus Christ, Life, Sin

There is this beautiful portrait of Christ’s forgiveness found in scripture that I want to discuss today. A picture of a young woman caught in sin. A picture of condemnation and grace that is still being painted today.

One day Jesus was in the temple teaching when all of a sudden a group of scribes and Pharisees bust in. They have with them a woman who was caught in the very act of adultery.

I see them throwing her down half-naked since she was caught in the act. Looking at Jesus they said that the law tells us that such a woman should be stoned. What do you say?

Jesus does the coolest thing ever. He just stoops down and starts writing in the dirt in from of him. Now, it doesn’t say what he wrote but I see him writing down the name of the man who was committing adultery too.

Since he didn’t answer them right away they kind of hound him for the answer. Finally he looks up and says this…He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Jesus, then looks back down and starts writing in the dirt again. I think he was writing some sins down that the people had committed.

But anyway, after a bit all the scribes, Pharisees and the others, starting with the oldest to the youngest, left. One by one the rocks fell…but not on her…they fell to the ground because each and every one of them knew they had sinned.

After a while the only two left were Jesus and the woman, who I am sure was still was cowering in fear waiting for the stones to fall upon her.

But instead Jesus says to the woman “Where are your accusers? Hath no man condemned you?” She tentatively looks up and sees no one but Jesus and says “No man, Lord.” Jesus responds by saying “Neither do I, go and sin more.”

Jesus didn’t bring up her adultery. He didn’t bring up her past. He didn’t condemn her, for he did not come into the world to condemn it but rather that through him the world might be saved.

So where is the beauty in this picture? It is in the fact that Jesus did not condemn her. Jesus, holy and without sin said “Neither do I.”

I wish we, as followers of Jesus, did not condemn people. But we do.

There can be many reasons for this too. We can see ourselves as the high and mighty, having it all together, like the Pharisees did.

For some, it could be that we see someone else’s sin as worse than ours. Yet, all sin is the same….sin.

For some it can be a way of controlling a person by always reminding them of their past.

Some of us actually condemn ourselves by our way of thinking. Especially in regards to self-worth.

I hear people say things like once an addict always as addict all the time. Or once a whore always a whore. Or here’s one even better…people don’t change. Really?!?

No!!! Addicts find deliverance from their addiction through the same grace that said “Neither do I.” That same grace that came to save the world says no, you are not a whore…you are a child of God, you are priceless and I love you. That amazing and wonderful grace does change people…from the inside out.

I believe that we, as a people, will always have a tainted picture of ourselves if we continue to allow the words and accusations of others to influence our view of ourselves. I know from my own experience. For I was the addict that Jesus came to save just like ha came to save the adulterous woman and everyone else. And I did change! But sometimes, I do allow my past shame and guilt to creep back in. Then Jesus lovingly reminds me who I am now.

He doesn’t bring up my past!

And as followers of Jesus we should not bring up the past of others either, but rather cheer them on in their journey.

 

I Just Write What God Places On My Heart

Tags

Blogs, Life, Marriage, Pornography, Recovery, Sex, Struggles, Testimony, Thoughts, Writing

I know I don’t have the most popular blog.

I don’t get many views or comments.

I do not use eloquent words when I write. I can, I just choose not too. I also know that I repeat myself several times over the course of writing.

What started off as a means of sharing with others my recovery from porn addiction and my mistakes at being a husband and father has turned into a blog of thoughts God places upon my heart.

I write about many different topics.

I share my daily struggle at times. I share my thoughts on sex, marriage, recovery and life.

I don’t want to talk about porn all the time because that is not who I am anymore. I still have a calling to help others get freedom their addiction/struggle. That will never go away. So I will still write about it.

I’m not a marriage blogger, per se, as you can tell from my posts. Yet, I have written some posts on marriage because I believe in God’s design for marriage and what it represents.

I have written about sex because…well…I love sex. I love the intimacy of it, the way it makes me feel and what it represents. It is so much more than just a quick release of tension or procreation.

I have written posts about my children and how I pray that they become what God created them to be and not what I want them to be, much less society.

I share testimonies from other men and woman. Why? Because they offer hope to anyone no matter the struggle!

I’m just me, I guess. Whatever God places on my heart for that day, moment or week is what I write about. I pray before I start writing and I pray before I post asking God to allow what I share to touch someone’s heart.

Occasionally I will get words of encouragement from readers and fellow bloggers. Sometimes people even like a post on my blog site or share it via social media to a friend. And for that I am thankful, honored and humbled.

Thank you, dear readers and friends for following along as I continue to write from my heart about God, marriage, struggles, recovery, life and yes…sex.

God Bless,
Stu

Don’t Allow The C Word To Keep You From Your Potential

Tags

Jesus Christ, Life, No I can't, Phillipians 4:13, Struggles, Yes I can

Let me just go ahead and get this out in the open…..I LOVE my son!

Brandon has been going to Celebrate Recovery with me a little here lately and the impact he has inadvertently made on some of the adults has made me so proud. His first night with me had me in tears. You can read about that experience HERE.

One of the other nights he came was just…another wow moment.

I knew he was playing basketball with the other kids because I saw him. What I didn’t know, until a little later, was that he had asked a young lady to come shoot the ball with him.

Well after shooting the ball, the young lady comes up to me and tells me that Brandon had asked her to come play and that she had said no because she can’t make the basket.

Well….Brandon had told her not to say the C word and come on. So she did shoot the basket and guess what? She made it.

She then shared with me that she took Brandon back to the worship area with her and got a blue chip with the promise of not saying the C word anymore.

Brandon was so excited for her! He was like see I told you.

I don’t know how it has been for you in the past or even today but for me I used the phrase I can’t a lot. There’s a line in the movie Home Run where the main character cries out saying “I can’t stop.”

There was a time in my life if you had told me I needed to quit watching porn, my answer would have no I can’t. I’ve tried and I just can’t stop. But you know what? I can and I did!

There have been so many I can’t moments in my life. It would take years to tell

One of them was being a dad. I was never truly shown how. But again I can and I have, despite what I would call failures on my part. And I will continue in this journey of dadhood because it is my calling.

But enough of me…

What about you? How many times do you use the C word in your life? Ponder on that for a moment or two.

Have you thought of writing them down? May be a good idea and then on the next page, opposite the I can’t statement page, write this verse down. Make it big. Highlight it! Color it with crayons if you want to.

Are you ready for the verse? Good.

Here ya go:

Such a powerful verse! One that lets you say Yes, I can!