Your Spouse Needs An Outlet To Heal

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Dear addict,

I understand wanting to keep the “secret” within the confounds of your marriage. You don’t want anyone to know about it..I get it. 

But, please do not put that stress on your spouse. It will slowly destroy them, possibly your marriage and your relationship with your children if you have any.

The pain and loss of trust is too much to hold in and not reap resentment, which leads to more pain and more loss of trust. Your spouse needs an outlet…a trustworthy friend to share this with, in order to truly heal. 

And honestly, and I believe you will agree, if you are an addict; your addiction to whatever is unmanageable, you really do care about the pain your spouse feels but you just don’t understand it.

Express what you are going through openly and honestly with your spouse. Yes, this will hurt. But, this will help rebuild some of the trust you have lost. 

Let them know you want to stop and do whatever it takes to recover that trust you have lost, to heal the pain you have inflicted through your addiction and your actions. 

Allow them to heal by not only expressing their feelings with you but also with someone else or a close group of friends. Someone you both trust, someone who will pray with your spouse, pray for both of you to heal and pray for your recovery.

Love in Christ,

Stu

Do I Really Believe?

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I have always believed in God. Even as a child, before I accepted Christ, I believed because my mom did.

As I grew older I would always pray asking for God to heal a friend or help me with a certain situation that was plaguing me. Very seldom were those prayers answered and I never could figure out why. And yet, I always knew that He would protect me and show up in a mighty way when it was the right time.

Nowadays, I have so much on my heart that is truly tearing me apart and it is affecting every area of my life.

Don’t get me wrong I still pray…all the time for my friends, loved ones and for myself but it’s just that now, honestly, I don’t believe that the prayers will be answered. It feels like God has kind of left me to suffer in silence and alone.

That falls on me and not God. My faith is still there but my knowledge of who God truly is has waivered here of late, which has caused my faith to falter as well.

I believe my answer lies within James chapter 1

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing of your faith produces patience.

Let patience finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 

Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

As, I said earlier I always believed in God. But to be honest here of late I have not truly been seeking Him. In order for me to get passed the struggles I am dealing with and attempt to move forward is to get closer to God. I have to get to know Him better.

I am so tired of being tossed around like a feather in a tornado. I have to get over my doubts that God just really doesn’t care about my happiness at times or that the desires of my heart matter little to Him.

Pray for me please as I seek God and figure out who I am in Him. For that abundant life that is promised I want and need.

A New Creation

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This has always been one of the hardest verses for me to grasp at times. 

Granted I know my journey is one that will take my own lifetime and it will never, never be perfect. 

Some of my sins are gone and I have become a new creation in my thinking and actions. And then there are still things that God is working on. I will always be a work in progress.

I am so thankful I have true friends who are loving me through this work in progress called the Christian life and despite my faults.

An Everlasting Love

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I do believe that everyone has heard the saying God is love. Many believe it to be true and many do not, yet scripture tells us over and over again that it is.

Even at a young age, if you grew up going to church, you heard that God is love and that He loves us. We even sang songs that said red, yellow, black & white we are all precious in His sight. If we are precious in His sight then we are loved.

Heck, even the most well known Bible verse is John 3:16, which states For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

I still, to this day have a hard time realizing how much God loves me. Not only did He send His Son Jesus to die for my sins…He loves me enough to forgive me, and hold me tight as I have cried myself to sleep many a night saying I’m sorry.

He formed me in my mother’s womb. He knows how many hairs I dont have on my head anymore. He knows my appointed time to die. He knows me, and yet He loves me.

God embodies the “love” chapter in scripture.

1 Corinthians 13

Let’s break this down a little differently.

Love (God)is patient.Can you imagine the amount of patience it takes to deal with me? A person who fails daily. A person who many times can’t make up his freaking mind. Many times since accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior have I envisioned God putting His hand on His head and going really Stuart.

Heck, think of Adam for a second. He was giving the authority to name ALL the animals. Can you imagine Adam staring at this half duck half beaver and going what the Heck God, I got nothing. Then he decides to call in a Platypus. How long did he stare at that Platypus until he decided to call it that? God is patient.

Love (God) is kind. God is not up in heaven going oh well…let’s see how we can twist everyone’s life up today. No, far from it.

Love (God) is not envious.

Love (God) is not boastful.

Love (God) is not proud.

Love (God) does not dishonor others.

Love (God) is not self-seeking.

Love (God) is not easily angered.

Love (God) keeps no record of wrongs. Once you accept Christ as your personal Lord and Savior all your sins were placed on Him. Your sins are remembered no more. According to Psalms 103:12 God has removed our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west.

Love (God) does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Love (God) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love (God) never fails.

God formed each of us so lovingly and carefully within our mother’s womb.


Before we were even born He loved us. While we were yet sinners He loved us. When we accept Christ He rejoices. He loves when we commune with Him and even when we do not.

Simply put God Loves Us from before we we born and through out an eternity with him…an everlasting love.

The Impossible Is Possible

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All those struggles you have been trying to overcome on your own…give them to God. He alone has the answers to your questions. He alone will give you the direction to overcome. 

God forgives, redeems and restores! It does not matter if it is smoking, porn, gambling, stealing, drinking, or any other sin. All you to is ask Him to forgive you, repent and watch what God can and will do in your life.