Porn: The Trojan Horse

Oh, the history with the Trojan horse is so cool.

The Greeks, trying to win the war over Troy built a huge wooden horse and stowed select warriors inside the horse. The Greeks drop it off and sail away.

Troy brings it in the gates thinking it was a victory gift. Unbeknownst to them it was not!

The Greeks really did not sail away. They just sailed out of sight and waited for nightfall. This is when the warriors that where inside the Trojan horse came out and opened the gates. The Greeks destroyed Troy that night and won the war. (Stuversion of the story)

There is another Trojan horse out there, figuratively speaking, that thousands of people have welcomed into their homes and millions that didn’t want it in their homes. But it is there. And it is not cool at all.

Many accept this into their lives as a gift… a way to learn more about sex or improve sex in the marriage bed.

Only to open it up to find many surprises not intended…

For the couple who willingly brings porn into their home they may have high hopes of an exciting sex life after watching porn. Only to find out later that the husband may not be able to have an erection any longer. The wife may find out that certain acts she may have thought of doing now haunt her as she has seen how the women are being treated in the scenes. And now refuses to do said act even if the husband promises to be easy and gentle.

And then one of them will find out the other is watching porn alone and masturbating to it. And then the thoughts of “Am I not good enough anymore” come into play. Intimacy and trust are lost.

For the young man who decides to watch porn to learn how to please his new bride soon finds out he can’t please her at all. His mind has become accustomed to viewing several scenes quickly in a row. He can get an erection but it quickly disappears as he now has porn induced ED.

And then we have those who didn’t want it AT ALL…but it’s there.

Hiding behind years of shame and guilt until one day what was hidden is brought to light.

Pain. Anger. Resentment. Lost trust. Tears. Intimacy destroyed. Questions answered and yet sadly with those answers come more questions.

The reason he couldn’t get an erection while you initiated dear wife is because he was just down stairs in the living room or man cave masturbating to porn.

After finding out about the porn issue you wonder why he doesn’t initiate sex anymore…if he ever did…

For some men it’s guilt and shame…plain and simple.

For others it takes yearrrrss to rewire their brain to what is a healthy sex life. Remember porn warps everything.

For some it may be the fact that they, after months of sobriety or even years, are afraid sex with you will initiate thoughts to go back and watch other have sex.

For some they may fear that you believe they are thinking of another woman they saw in a scene instead of you. Because things seen can not be unseen.

And to be honest it does take some time to get out of the selfish porn scene mentality.

He wants to please you but doesn’t know how or is afraid to disappoint.

Sadly, the Trojan Horse of porn is a gift that keeps on giving. Even years after finding freedom from watching porn and masturbating to it there are triggers. Even after years of healthy intimate, passionate love making with the love of your life things will still trigger images. Trust me…I know first hand 😦

But I can testify to the fact that there is hope to stop watching porn. Porn induced ED goes away and a healthy vibrant sex life is possible.

You must want the freedom though. You must fight for it. Because that jerk the devil has been playing the sex card for thousands of years whether it’s to simply get off or self medicate your other issues. He know what buttons to push!

BUT…

Greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Give your struggle to God. I don’t mean lay it down nicely, either. I mean throw that crap on the floor like the garbage it is and scream here God I’m tired of this!

Ask for forgiveness! Stay vigilant! Get accountable to someone! And pray…hard.

God always gives us a way out when temptation comes…we just have to take it. You CAN trust God to keep His promises!

20 thoughts on “Porn: The Trojan Horse”

      1. Exactly right. Consented adultery is adultery nonetheless.

        I’ve yet to see a swinger couple make it in marriage… it’s the same thing every time…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Great post Stuart! I especially liked the last part ….
    ‘Ask for forgiveness! Stay vigilant! Get accountable to someone! And pray…hard.’
    Being honest with yourself is the first step. This reminds me of when I first told my husband he was an alcoholic, years ago. He damned near laughed in my face. 😏 But! It was the first time anyone had been honest with him. Later, he was honest with himself. One of the conditions in place when he asked me to marry him, AA meetings. He went – we went, because I accompanied him. And today he is a recovering alcoholic. So yes! Get someone to help you, be honest with yourself, be accountable and allow outside help, you won’t regret it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Ana! I agree. Because without accountability I would more than likely still be trapped in the vicious cycle. But first (as Kathy wrote in her newest post) you must first realize and admit you have a problem.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, yes! If you don’t admit it, think it, as you say, the vicious cycle will continue until it takes the life out of you and ruins you.
        My husband laughed when I told him he was an alcoholic. Yes, it’ll happen, they will laugh, they will chastise you but Gods with you! And when he calls you to help someone, do it – or at least try.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Amen! You hit nail on the head. It was just that. I felt that calling to help this man that was drowning in alcohol! When God calls, gives you that nudge to help, do it, he’ll be helping you through it too, you won’t be doing it on your own.

            Liked by 2 people

  2. Why would we invite the enemy to walk right in and sit down at our table?

    Porn is so destructive. Both to the user and to those who are being used.

    May the Lord set the captives free from this great evil in our world today.

    Liked by 1 person

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