One of the hardest things I had to fight while quitting my 30 year addiction to porn was the images stuck in head. Even now, it’s a struggle. Some times I believe that I received freedom from that ball and chain to only find myself stuck behind a fence with true freedom just on the other side.
One of the struggles a recovering porn addict has is the fact that what has been seen can not be unseen. Those images stay with us long after the monitor is turned off.
In a recent post I wrote about how a certain song triggered a visual that kind of rocked me. And there I learned, that though I am free from the addiction, there is still a lot that I must do.
Had I continued to dwell on that visual instead of praying and asking God to take it away, I could have easily come home and watched porn. And guess what? No one would know…except me and God of course.
It is an everyday struggle. That’s something not many know because I don’t tell anyone. A lot of people think I have it all together but I don’t.
Triggers are everywhere.
That’s something most do not realize. They are in almost in every ad on the television. I mean come on! What does a woman in a bikini have to do with selling a hamburger?
Triggers are on ad posters in the mall.
And some are simply walking down the street in every day clothing running their errands and doing their thing.
Sometimes the triggers get me and sometimes they don’t. I guess it depends on the trigger…like that song. But I honestly don’t get it. I have heard that song a gazillion times and never once has it done that.
But that one time proves that what has been seen cannot be unseen. That visual was one I did not like. I didn’t want it popping in my head. It, to me, is a degrading scene in a lot of porn movies.
Those things seen will pop up at weird times due to a trigger of some sort. How you react is a reflection on your character. Will you pray and ask God to remove it or will you allow it to grow? Will you stand firm or will you fall?
Something to ponder this week as you go through your day.