Ok guys, let's be real..Amy played me...lol. You see, I nominated her for the Sunshine Blogger Award and then she turns around and nominates me. She answered the questions I posed amazingly! But her number of questions for her nominees were waaayyy off! Yeah..Amy is breaking the rules. 🙃 She asks one. One! And yet… Continue reading The Sunshine Blogger Award | Testimony
Porn... For those who do not think they have a problem...be aware. Your brain is being warped. For those who believe they are not hurting anyone...be aware. Your idea of what hurts is warped. For those who have been struggling daily to be intimate with the one you love...be aware. Your idea of intimacy has… Continue reading Porn Warps Everything
I have had several folks ask me to share the interview I did with Kerri from Coffee & Christ on being a spiritual leader of the family after hearing the one I shared yesterday about my journey from the playground to porn addiction. While filming this we really didn't know how deep this was, as… Continue reading Coffee & Christ Show: Spiritual Leadership
For those that do not know, I am a member of the Christian Marriage Blogger Association and though I do not really write about marriage per se, I believe in God's design for marriage. You will find marriage interwoven into many of posts over the years. And if you have not figured out that I… Continue reading Jay Dee From Uncovering Intimacy Talks About Sex From The Pulpit
As I was reading Cynthia’s post I was floored. I have NEVER seen loss from a spouses addiction like this before. That is why I simply had to share this with you.
As an ex porn addict this cut me deeply but at the same time this quote proves that God works all things for our good…
“What I do know now is that what was lost can be found. What was stolen can be replaced with something better, brighter and more beautiful. And amazingly, what was once mourned will be celebrated.”
Guys, share the heck out of Cynthia’s post…not mine, please. Share her story and give other women hope!
There have been many losses in my life created by my husband’s porn addiction and intimacy anorexia. Many things were blatantly stolen from me throughout my marriage leaving me dazed and confused. But others were a slower trickle that I didn’t even notice until the emptiness engulfed my soul.
Either way, I lost. And my husband’s addiction won. It wasn’t fair that I was an unknowing participant in a battle I knew nothing about it. I wasn’t prepared. I had no warning. I didn’t even know it was occurring. I repeatedly got knocked down, each time multiplying the losses and shattered shards of my heart. Until one day, I lay battered and crumpled on the floor. My opponent oblivious and uncaring that he and his addiction were the cause. On my knees, I cried out to Jesus for mercy and help. And then I rose unsteadily, turned around, and hobbled…
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This broke my heart this morning.
I am sharing this, with permission, to say her husband’s comments are typical of an addict in denial. He’s not an addict yet he will not stop watching.
But what truly broke my heart was the fact that she has lost hope, not in herself, but in the marriage. To read more of A.R. and her struggle please visit her blog today and give her some inspiration and hope.
In my last post, I mentioned I found pornography on my husband’s computer again. I was not going to look at his history because I didn’t want to hurt myself even more. Yet, I had this compulsion to look. I scrolled down each day. Yes, he was looking at porn weekly. Porn Hub was a site I kept on running into and so was Google images. This information did not disturb me. I have come to accept the fact that these are his “go to” sites.
I found pornography on his computer on Friday. He was out of town that whole weekend. I had keep my anger and my vomit inside of me. I made sure this was not going to ruin my weekend with my girls. I kept on telling myself, “This is my husband’s addiction and I am not the cause.”
Late Sunday night he came home. This…
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There is something I have learned in the six months or so since returning to Celebrate Recovery...besides the fact that I still need it. Here it is...there are men and women, dads and moms that feel as if they have let their children down. And in a lot of ways. And I am one of… Continue reading Don’t Give Up Because Of Lost Time