Your Husband is a Porn Addict, or Maybe Not, and Why That Matters

Cynthia brings us another powerful message! One that is not meant to lessen the pain of discovery but to identify the problem. There ARE different levels of porn usage. They go from oh my gosh, what did I just see to the oh $&_# I just got busted at work…or worse. BUT, not all are an addict. Learn the difference…know the difference!

Tears in a Bottle

I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend lately. A jamming together of puzzles pieces that don’t necessarily belong together. The variations of “Help! I found pornography on the computer and don’t know how to deal with my partner’s porn addiction.” I understand the shock and heartache of discovering your partner’s porn usage. I really and truly know that pain well. What troubles me is the immediate assumption and leap that evidence of porn use indicates the presence of an addiction.

Discovering the existence of pornography in your relationship is definitely a cause for concern that needs to be addressed with the user. I am absolutely not minimizing or denying the damage that pornography use inflicts upon the user, the partner or their relationship, or encouraging anyone else to do so. But I am questioning the growing belief, particularly in the Christian community, that viewing pornography equals an addiction.

I believe…

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The Bond Of 3 Cords | Part 3

As much as I hate to admit it, this has been difficult. I am so used to to jotting everything down at once. I just didn't want to have like a 10,000 word or longer post. That is just not me...anymore I guess, if I do a series again, I should write it all down… Continue reading The Bond Of 3 Cords | Part 3

Change Before The First Tear Falls

John from The Eclectic Contrarian and I were chatting in the comment section of my Couch Experience and his comments sparked a thought. Here is his comment (used with permission, though it's not like you can't go and read the comment on the post..duh. But I do always ask first before sharing. John ~ ....But… Continue reading Change Before The First Tear Falls

Pray Anyway

This brought me to tears. People just do not understand the power of prayer until they truly witness it first hand.

I am just blown away by this post and the openness in which Cynthia shares her story with us. What a powerful testimony of what God can do if we simply get out of His way.

God bless you sis!

Tears in a Bottle

You don’t have to believe in God to pray. That’s what our Sexual Recovery Therapist told my husband as he outlined the sex addiction recovery program my husband was about to begin. Having a day bookended by prayer wouldn’t have fazed me too much. As a Christian, I didn’t spend as much time talking to God as I could or should have. Twice a day would have been a stretch. But something I would have readily agreed to as a part of my recovery program.

And yet it wasn’t me seeking healing from a pornography addiction, compulsive masturbation and intimacy anorexia. It was my husband. A man who did not believe in the existence of God.

I was highly doubtful that my non-believing husband would agree to pray. My eyes had been glued to our counsellor’s face, grasping every bit of hope his words were offering us. The hope began…

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Surfing for God: My Reflections

“One is one too many and one more is never enough.”

This quote is something all addicts can relate too!

But that is not the only nugget I received from this post.

This is a very honest and upfront post with questions based off the book Surfing For God.

These are some deep questions. Check out his answers. See if you can find a piece of yourself in there. I know I did.

I praise God for the last answer he gave….He is pursuing his wife and learning to love himself…probably for the first since he was a teen…

God bless you brother! Keep pressing forward! Keep pursuing your wife! Keep pursuing God!

A Dark Night Shattered by Light

Note:  Been a while since I’ve posted anything … the below entry is based on questions related to the book “Surfing for God” that I am reading through with a group.  Questions are in bold and my reflections are below them.


How does “I’m tired of how little porn/sexual behaviors delivers” apply to you?

Porn and sexual behaviors have been completely destructive in my life.  It was like an invasive poison ivy that was let in, and then started to spread its vine just underneath the soil.  As the first leaves started to sprout, it was too late.  Soon many leaves along an intricate network of vines made life a minefield, and I had given up, accepted the poison inside of me and the rashes as a part of me.  But God has lifted me out of that underbrush.  I cannot go back to it.  It never delivered what…

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