Here I am again God!

Why can’t I change?

I’m tired of being consumed by this inferno I created!

It’s burning things into my mind I can’t shake.

How can I stop the searing pain that ravages my mind so much it affects my body as well?

What started as a flicker is now a raging inferno of images much worse than when it began…

How can an innocent look at people having sex in a video become so vial, degrading and disgusting?

The spark lit more than I ever imagined!

I’m disgusted with myself but I can’t tear myself away!

It’s like a real fire where I can sit for hours and watch the flames dance!

Why God? WHY???

Oh, my child…

You know I never designed sex to be this way!

Yes, I created sex for your pleasure to bring you and the person you love together in a bond that ties your souls together not only in the physical and mental sense but also in a spiritual sense.

That is what I intended but the devil has twisted, once again, one of my creations as a means of destruction.

I never meant for you to watch others have sex nor did I EVER intend for it to warp your brain in this manner.

When I created sex between a man and a woman, I did it so that your minds, once released of certain chemicals that I lovingly placed there, would crave more moments with each other. To build upon your relationship with each other as you continually move to higher levels of love and pleasure.

I know you can’t stand what you are watching much less the visions in your head because of things you have seen and done.

I know your heart!

I know you want to be free of this inferno.

But, in order to do so you must step into my consuming fire and allow me to burn off the imperfections that have inflicted your mind and heart.

But God, how can your fire overpower the inferno raging within?

Because my fire is an all consuming fire. One that will, as I work within you, smother the inferno.

I will burn my name into your heart!

I will burn away the lustful desires in your mind and body and replace them with Integrity!

I will burn the thoughts of past sins from your mind and you will rise from those ashes as a new man!

God, if stepping into your consuming fire means freedom from my cursed inferno then….

All consuming fire BURN!!!

11 thoughts on “Inferno”

  1. You are too good at this Stuart! Wow. That was so good.๐Ÿ‘ PREACH!

    I’m so glad you enjoyed mine. ๐Ÿ’• I used real life to inspire me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Wait, there were other picture choices? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Just kidding! ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    I try so hard to rein that passion in and filter myself, but it seems to come through anyways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks sis!

      Yeah, I think I had at least two other pictures ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      I understand having to rein in the passion while writing. I do the same thing when I write about sex or people’s face would turn red. But at the same time I time I feel that if the passion isn’t there then people may not believe me…if that makes sense.

      I’m glad your passion comes through. I believe yours should. You are writing about real life experiences. ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. This is brave. Powerful. Well done! I was a victim of voyeurism in childhood and do not like being looked at to this day. Porn is so destructive because it incites our natural tendencies to ‘look where we ought not be looking’ and thereby damages everyone involved, viewer and those being viewed too. Your story of redemption gives me hope. Yes: God gives us integrity and He purifies us in the fire! I love how you pulled all of that from the photo. Deep calls unto deep!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! As much as I talk about my struggle with porn it is still difficult to come out and be real!

      I’m so sorry you had to go through that as a child ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I was molested and that messed me up for decades in the sexual sense. I pray God continually guides you to deeper healing!

      Deep calls unto deep…I like that ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you for sharing a part of your story!

      Liked by 1 person

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