Code Purple: Team On 3

Here is the devotional:

Today’s CODE PURPLE is talking about parenting.

In today’s culture, men are portrayed on TV as this ignorant goofball that can’t be expected or trusted with anything important. He’s selfish, inattentive, lazy and just a poor excuse of a husband. While mostly in sitcoms, I don’t think many men fall too far from that example to our families.

Men get off the couch!

God made man and women to be a team, and that team is meant to be working together when parenting. Your wife needs your presence in the leading, the teaching, and discipline of the children. Yes, she can do it by herself and so can you. But that’s not how God created the family dynamic to be. Both working together, loving and serving each other while teaching your children about Jesus.

Parenting should not be a good cop/bad cop thing that limps along, but rather a Godly focused couple that works together for the good of the family.

Your wife is going to bring all kinds of strengths that you and I do not possess. She will also be looking for you to be there to bring your strengths to the family. Your children will also model the kind of people they are going to be on how you work together, speak to each other and how consistent you parent them.

Don’t second guess or undermine your spouse in front of your children. Ask to speak in private about the matter and get on the same page before you regret something you both are about to do in public. We’ve all seen those parents that never work on their marriage or their parenting skills and just have blow-up after blow-up.

Your kids are watching to learn how to be a parent. Your wife is in need of a man who is balanced. God is expecting you to be the husband, dad and leader you were always meant to be. If that statement sounds familiar, it’s Uncommen’s mission statement.

Uncommen Questions:

Do you parent with your wife or do you let her do the heavy lifting and only step in when you think “things get serious”?

Have you and your wife ever done a study on parenting? If so, do you implement what you learned? If not, what are you waiting for?

Uncommen Challenge:

Your parenting years are shorter than you think. You only have a certain amount of time to pour Godly council into your children and show them what a Godly parent looks like.

Here are the scriptures referenced:

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18 KJV

Here are Stu’s thoughts:

For me back in the day it was always wait till dad gets home. Dad had a handmade paddle he would use on me and my sister Stacy. It was basically a 2×10, cut to 3 feet with the last foot being the handle and it had holes drilled into it for wind resistance.

That joker hurt and I probably still have red dots on my rear😂

I happen to agree with the author on this one. Both parents need to be involved in the disciplining of children. That includes dolling out the punishment, verbal warning, discussion or spankings. Yes, I said spankings.

I feel that this world went psycho when spankings stopped.

I also agree that even though you may have a difference of opinion on the punishment never second guess or undermine your spouse in front of the kids. Let the punishment be as is then have a sidebar or bedroom discussion about how to dole out punishment for that particular incident in the future. Then stick to ya’ll’s decision. There’s that communication thang again….

Let me say this real quick…it IS hard being a parent…for both husband and wife. But men, it is tougher on the wife. It shouldn’t be that way but it is in I would guess 90% of marraiges.

It’s usually the mom who wakes up in the middle of the night and does the feeding and that’s not just for breast feeders but for bottle feeders as well.

It’s usually the mom that changes the diapers, washes the bottles, washes clothes and bibs a gazillion times a day due to spit up or diaper overload.

And if she is a stay at home mom it’s even worse.

Don’t believe me young dads? Tell ya what.

I have a challenge for you…..

Take a vacation for 2 days let your wife go to her parents for those 2 days and when she returns from her 2 day vacation you will never walk in the door saying I’m too tired again! Then you may also know the reason for the nos sometimes when you request some adult time.

There is so much that goes into parenting besides cooking for them, washing their clothes, and providing for them financially.

You have to be present physically, mentally and emotionally for them. They are looking to you for guidance. They don’t know that yet but they are.

And for the most part how you act around your kids is how they will act growing up.

Yes, one parent could, can and does do this but it’s not the design.

The man is to be the spiritual leader of the family. Notice I did not say household I said family. Your job is not simply going to work and earning the “bread” and then come home and not lift a finger because you feel you’ve done your job. You’ve done a part of your job. Father up and do the other part of your job and be a dad and husband.

I really could go on and on and on about parenting and the lack of men actually doing what they should be doing.

And honestly it’s the old school way thinking and the churches fault.

Can you believe that pastors still say that a woman’s place is in the kitchen? Horsehockey!!!

If I am ever in a church where the pastor says that I will get my butt off the pew and out the door.

Parents please, please, please, listen to this. Your children need you! They don’t need half a dad or half a mom. They need the whole you present for them emotionally and physically. And by God they need to know that you love them!!!!

And for the love of everything that is Holy do NOT belittle your children. EVER!

Don’t call your child overweight or fat. Guess you forgot who the adult is that feeds them and should be watching over the diet.

Don’t call them out on their grades at school saying they are stupid and will never learn! Have you, as parents, exhausted every means available to ensure they are indeed learning? Are you helping with homework or are you watching tv and reading a book? Hell, did you teach them how read and write or did you wait til they went to kindergarten?

Sorry, not sorry!

See I told you I could go on and on about parenting. Let me stop before this turns into a 5,000 word thing.

Last thing I promise. Pray asking God for guidance daily!!! He’s the perfect Father!

6 thoughts on “Code Purple: Team On 3”

  1. You make some excellent points, Stu. I was a single parent for a lot of our time as young parents because my husband was deployed with the military. When he came home, he tended to be more harsh and less patient with the children, so they grew to fear him at times. As time progressed, he was home more and the children got to know him, but I was the caregiver and disciplinarian for most of their lives. There are many single women out there raising children on their own and have no choice but to fulfill all the roles. That is not how God planned things to be and I think that is why a whole segment of our society is totally messed up and rudderless, because they had no father in the home to guide them Then they continue that cycle by being the “baby daddy” but not a real father. As I told one of my students long ago, anyone can donate sperm, but I takes someone special to spend time being a father. Your posts and interactions with your children show that you are that father and many can learn from your example.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Vickie. You are right about our society being rudderless. The baby daddy syndrome has gotten way out of hand. It is past time men took their role as a father seriously.

      I’m not with the kids as much as I would like but they know I will always be here for them. When I had a car I made it a point to be at every event they were in, but now it’s tough without said car 😢

      I can understand him being a little harsh and less patient if he is not used to being around them. I’m sure it overwhelmed him a little.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, he was overwhelmed, and had to get to know them and how they reacted to him. He has a good relationship with them now, but I’m sorry that he missed out on so many of their formative years.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Glad he has the relationships now! I thought of jobs that would have me traveling but told their mom I know we need the money but I don’t want to miss anything. I’m thankful I made that choice.


  2. 1. Spanking: God taught me a hard lesson about spanking my child. It is the right thing to do; we can obey God and not discipline in anger; His ways always work; the end of a spanking is a deeper relationship and more love.
    2. Parents hold primary responsibility for the education of their children. Not the teacher/s, not the government.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.