Words: Husband’s ~ You Can Build Up Or Tear Down

Here is the devotional:

Proverbs 10:14 – “Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.”

Men, we are often our own worst enemy when it comes to communication. Whether you are newly married or a veteran like me (33+ years with my wife), you should have come to understand that the way you and your wife communicate will determine the happiness of your household. Happy wife / Happy life.

By nature, men are fixers. We want a small explanation of the problem while we are putting on our hero outfit and cape so we can spring into action and fix the problem. Women usually want to explain in detail what is going on, and they expect us to do something we rarely do well… listen.

Someone asked me: “What was the most surprising thing you’ve experienced in owning your own business?” Without hesitation, I said “People’s shocking inability to communicate effectively”.

But God doesn’t want that for our marriages. He wants clear, sound, truthful, kind, and open communication with each other. The number one thing I pray for during my quiet time is wisdom. Not that I’m channeling my inner King Solomon. But rather, I want to know the mind of God in every situation in my life. I want to store up knowledge and communicate effectively with my wife.

My wife and I do marriage studies frequently just to keep our marriage in tip-top shape and one of best ones we’ve done was “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It talks about the process of finding your love language and how you like to be communicated to. Once you and your wife have determined what your love languages are (there are usually two), you can then understand how to communicate to each other. If her love language is quality time and you keep giving gifts with no appreciation from her, it gets frustrating. It’s important to learn how someone communicates and then communicate that way toward them. It sounds very basic, but it’s one of the most overlooked things when it comes to communication.

As with anything, you will only get out what you put into a marriage, and communication is at the heart of everything.


How do you and your wife communicate?
When was the last time you did a marriage study?
When was the last time you prayed for your wife?


Take the marriage Study – “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Learn what your wife’s love language is while she learns yours.

Here are the scriptures referenced:

Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.
Proverbs 10:14 KJV

Here are Stu’s thoughts:

Oh boy!

Marriage is tricky. It doesn’t matter how long you have know each other once you become husband and wife things change.

Communication is one of the first ones to go followed closely by sexual frequency.

Did you know there is a huge difference between hearing and listening? Listening requires our attention. Hearing is something we can do while the tv is blaring.

I hear ya and I understand are two totally different things.

You must learn to listen. That means muting or turning off the tv. Trust me whatever is on the tube is not important compared to what you wife is trying to convey to you.

That means quit scrolling through Facebook and listen.

Heck she could have said Honey, I am going to take a shower….pause…want to join me?

And all you heard was shower. You just missed out!

Men, never be ashamed to share your feeling with your wife. And never stop her from sharing hers! PERIOD!!

I dare you to take to the 5 love language quiz!

Angie and I have taken it twice over the past 10 years. Both times she stayed the same while I changed a little. But what a game changer!

Physical touch is her top love language🥰 followed by quality time.

Mine are words of affirmation and physical touch followed closely by acts of service. That’s how I show I love someone is by doing things for them.

Last but not least…

Never speak negatively of your spouse to anyone! Not friends, parents, coworkers, kids….no one!

2 thoughts on “Words: Husband’s ~ You Can Build Up Or Tear Down”

  1. Great tips!
    Love languages are powerful, and we need to pay attention to what speaks to our spouses. If my love language is gifts, and my husband’s is words of affirmation, I can show my love with gifts, but he’s not receiving it, because I’m not speaking his language. Learning another language is hard, but the rewards are worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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