The Big M

*This post was originally written on June 9th 2015. I just felt the need to share this again. Someone out there needs this *

I wonder why the topic of masturbation is so touchy? Why the anger that usually happens when two people with differences of opinion discuss this topic? It’s almost harder to discuss than porn itself.

Could it be the personal nature of the act itself? Maybe, most feel that since it is their penis or their vagina they are manually pleasing and since it is a part of their body they have the right to do whatever they want with it. I guess that could be a possible answer. But I believe it boils down to the original sin…selfishness.

The act of masturbation is all about how we feel when we are doing it. It has nothing to do with how our partner is feeling. And it doesn’t matter whether you are single or married in regards to that aspect.

As an accountability partner I am often asked if masturbation is a sin. Many ask out of concern for their walk with God. But I also believe that a few want to keep at least one part of their old lifestyle irregardless of the cost to themselves physically, mentally and spiritually. I feel for them..I really do…because I am so familiar with the struggle.

Masturbation is a struggle for both men and women. A struggle I dealt with for many reasons.

For me, what started off as curiosity became a major problem in my life.

My first time was in Junior High and believe it or not had nothing to do with porn. I just did it because I heard some of the guys in school talking about it. I’m sure they did not think I was listening to them since I was not in their “click”. Yet, I was friends with them all. Maybe that’s the reason I was able to listen to the stories. Wish I hadn’t.

That very night while in the bathtub I did it for the first time. Man, what a rush of emotions and sensations. My emotions were telling me what I was doing was wrong but the sensations were telling me otherwise.

It was those sensations that made me want to do it over and over again. And I did..a lot…but not that night. As time progressed, masturbation became a coping mechanism of sorts. I used it for relief from stress, loneliness, depression, as a means to go to sleep when my brain would not shut up long enough for me to go to sleep and to not have “blue balls” after making out with someone.

As an adult the masturbation became less frequent with me compared to some of the stories I have heard.

Sadly, the masturbation did not end when I got married. I would still do it in the shower occasionally. And I felt terrible afterwards…as if I was cheating on my wife. And I was! (I’ll explain that one in a later post, as this one is mostly for the single folks.)

Every time I did it though there was a deep sense of shame. It made me feel lonelier and more depressed than before. Is it not that way with all struggles we give in too?

Even today, if I would succumb to the temptation I would feel guilt and shame. Maybe part of that is because the church says that it is a sin. It also could be that it was a taboo topic growing up that led to the guilt because no one really talked about it like they do today.

Today, it is talked about almost everywhere. It’s in social media (as far as recovery sites, people blog about it, it’s in movies and in commercials…though you have to have a “dirty” mind to catch it, as many are just innuendos. It is accepted as normal behavior now. It is even in some school textbooks. And those even show you how.

But….I still, personally, believe that it is a sin. And that even if you want to get rid of the religious aspect it is still bad for you. Here is why I say this.

Some of the same excuses that people use to few porn they use to justify masturbation.

I’m not hurting anyone.

At least I am not having sex with anyone and getting a disease.

It’s my right.

It’s my body and I can do whatever I want to do.

It’s not listed in the Bible as a sin.

Here are the issues at hand though.

• You are hurting someone. You are hurting yourself, as masturbation desensitizes you. It effects you mind so severely, as with porn, that you may not be able to maintain an erection during regular intercourse. This in turn will affect you future spouse
• If you are masturbating to porn it can lead to PIED ( Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction)
• Masturbation is not what you genitals are meant for. They are made so that we can have sex with a partner (after marriage), hence the reason they were formed in the fashion that they are…to fit together
• If you are lusting while masturbating you are technically having sex with that person even if only mentally. From a Christian standpoint even spiritually.
• If you are a Christian, then…I’m sorry to burst your bubble…but your body is not your own. For once you realized that you were a sinner in need of a Savior and cried out to God to forgive you, Christ’s blood that was shed on the cross paid your ransom and now the Holy Spirit lives in you making your body the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own. 1 Corinthians 6:19.
• And yes, it is listed in the Bible. It does not say masturbation though. It is called idolatry.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will fo God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication;
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in the sanctification and honor,
Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles who know not God.

Let’s take a look at those few verses real quick. The will of God is to make you holy (sanctify/sanctification) and we should abstain from fornication.

Now, most see fornication as sex between two people unmarried or not married to each other. Yet the biblical term often is idolatry.

Idolatry means to have an excessive or blind adoration for something or someone. That would include ourselves. Concupiscence means sexual desire..sensuality. And of course the Gentile who knew not God means any person who does not know God. Meaning that, we as Christians are not to succumb to the lusts of our flesh simply because we want to but we should rather honor our bodies and walk with integrity.

And since masturbation, 99% of the time, requires lusting (having a sexual desire) after a picture, a scene in a pornographic flick or a thinking of sex with that man or woman you saw earlier in the day to get an erection and to maintain said erection so you can get to orgasm, it is a sin.

As I said, this is my personal take on masturbation. I could be dead wrong or I could be spot on. But it something to take into consideration.

Friends, if you struggle with masturbation take this to the Lord in prayer and ask for His guidance in this area in your life.

For those who are not Christian please take a look at the list above and realize that masturbation is not beneficial to you, your health or your future spouse.

One thing I know for certain is that you will not grow hair on your palms as I was told growing up. I have never once had to shave my palms!

Also check out this post:

Why masturbation is a problem whether you’re married or single