Sunday Music: NF | How Could You Leave Us?

I went down a rabbit hole last night til 3am. I just couldn’t stop.

Have you ever watched those reaction videos? You know the ones where someone listens to a song for the first and you get to see and hear their reactions.

Well that was me last night. Couldn’t sleep to save my life.

It did not start with NF mind you but that is where it ended for real.

It started with Home Free and a few people’s reaction to their version of Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash.

But around 1 am I ran across a rapper listening to this song for the first time. He started crying about halfway through the song. Saying how real and emotional this song is as his mom had died while he was a child. He wasn’t prepared for the lyrical side of this song.

NF shares life within each of his songs. Some are tough to listen to because they are so real. But that is what makes NF stand out. In my opinion this is what makes him outshine and out rap most other artists of the genre.

But I wanted to share this song because there are a lot and I mean a LOT of young/ old men and women of every race who have dealt with this in one form or another.

Losing a parent is tough. Watching a  parent succumb to their addiction over family is…I believe… harder.

And there are also those parents that are physically there with no addictions that just aren’t there emotionally.

Then you also have those divorced parents who chose their own needs over being there for their kids. It’s tough!

Being a child waiting by the door for for your mom or dad to pick you up and you wait for hours only to realize they are not coming…yeah that hurts like hell.

I’ve included the lyrics to the song courtesy of my CD insert.

How could you leave us so unexpected?
We waited, we waited
For you but you just left us
We needed you, I needed you

Yo, I don’t know what it’s like to be addicted to pills
But I do know what it’s like to be a witness, it kills
Mama told me she love me, I’m thinking this isn’t real
I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell, yeah

Welcome to the bottom of hell
They say pain is a prison, let me out of my cell
You say you proud of me, but you don’t know me that well
Sit in my room, tears running down my face and I yell
Into my pillowcases, say you coming to get us
Then call a minute later just to tell us you not, I’m humiliated
I’m in a room with a parent that I barely know
Some lady in the corner watching us, while she taking notes

I don’t get it mom, don’t you want to watch your babies grow?
I guess pills are more important, all you have to say is “no”
But you won’t do it, will you? You gon’ keep popping ’til those pills kill you
I know you gone but I can still feel you

Why would you leave us?
Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How could you leave us?
Why would you leave us? Oh

I got this picture in my room and it kills me
But I don’t need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing
Now a relationship is something we won’t ever have
Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?
You shoulda been there when I graduated
Told me you love me and congratulations
Instead you left us at the window waiting
Where you at mom? We’re too young to understand, where you at huh?

Yeah, I know them drugs got you held captive
I can see it in your eyes, they got your mind captured
Some say it’s fun to get the high but I am not laughing
And what you don’t realise and what you not grasping
That I was nothing but a kid who couldn’t understand
I ain’t gon’ say that I forgive you ’cause it hasn’t happened
I thought that maybe I feel better as time passes
If you really cared for me, then where you at then?

Why would you leave us?
Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us?
Why would you leave us? Oh

Our last conversation, you and I sat in the living room
Talking ’bout my music and I brought you something to listen to
You started crying, telling me this isn’t you
A couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune
You took them pills for the last time, didn’t you?
They took you from us once, guess they came back to finish you
Crying my eyes out in the studio is difficult
Music is the only place that I can go to speak to you

It took me everything inside of me to not scream at your funeral
Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful
I wish you were here mama but every time I picture you
All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you

They found you on the floor, I could tell that you felt hollow
Gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
You gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles
Don’t know if you hear me or not, but if you still watching, why?

Why would you leave us?
Why would you leave us?
How could you leave us here?
How would you leave us?
Why would you leave us? Oh

Sometimes I think about like
Sometimes I think about things like, you know
When I have kids, I’m like

You won’t be there, you know?
You won’t be there for any of that
And I’ll never get to see you again
Sometimes I wish I would’ve just called you
I wish I would’ve just picked up the phone, wish you were here
I mean you should’ve been there for us, you should have been here
Them pills got you, right?
Them pills got you, right?
I wish you were here

Like I said NF is real and deep. There is a line in his song Mansion that I may write about. I will be sharing more of his songs as well.

Have a blessed Sunday

9 thoughts on “Sunday Music: NF | How Could You Leave Us?”

  1. Stu, I will never forget the first time I heard this song. I was listening to another song one night not able to sleep and you know how other songs pop up. This one came up and I listened. Talk about ugly crying! You can really feel the pain this guy went through. So sad. It broke my heart. Praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trust me Renee. I cried too. And still do every time I listen to it and he starts crying.

      I have read where there was another verse to this song. It didn’t make it because he was to weak to keep singing šŸ˜„

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I do, too, Stu. I pray he has finally healed from his childhood trauma. One day my oldest daughter told me she had a Christian song she wanted me to listen to about addiction. I knew right away it was this song! She also ugly-cried when she heard it.

    Liked by 1 person

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