I didn’t share anything last week because I just really didn’t want to jinx things.
Angie called me on the 15th all excited. She had her hair colored with non toxic dyes. She has always wanted purple streaks…
I asked her to send me a picture, which she did, and she said why not just come see it in person.
So I set it up. A friend from work, who’s girlfriend also lives in Shreveport/Bossier area😮, was willing to take me when he went to see his woman.
Angie was so excited she did a video chat with me that night😍
I had my clothes washed at a laundromat Thursday, while at work, to make sure the cat hair and cigarette smoke was out of the clothes as she is allergic to both. I paid rent early so I wouldn’t have to stop to load my card after work. We could just leave Friday and we could get there faster.
And then the text came.
That picture of me is actually a video of me saying how much I missed her and that I can’t wait to see her.
I should not have sent it, because I know she would be able to hear my voice crack because of the pain in my heart. I started crying about half way through and tried to stop.
D heard me while I was videoing and said that was the most beautiful sharing of your heart I have heard so far. I just smiled and said I love her D.
He said I know you do Stu and one day God will honor that love you two share. I am sorry that this has happened. I know how much this would have meant to both of you.
After sending her the video I just walked away from D and went on a quick walkabout. Crying and screaming at the same time.
Have you ever just felt like you were being punished and yet had no clue as to why??? Yeah, that’s me. Honestly, I have felt this way for a long time. Very depressing.
This season, which has lasted years by the way, needs to freaking end and end soon. I am so tired.
I’m just tired of it all.
It was supposed to be Brandon’s weekend with me and when I told him I was going to see Angie he so excited for me. I called him Friday and told him I wasn’t going to see Angie, told him why and that he could stay the weekend. He was both sad and happy.
He gave me the biggest hug Friday when he got here. He has such a loving spirit about him. He said dad, I know how much Angie means to you, I know how much you love her and I am sorry that you couldn’t go see her. One day you will see her, hold her and give her that kiss on the forehead like you always did and everything will be ok. God, I love my son.
So last night she texts to let me know she is in quick care who pretty much sent her to the ER. Angie has a blood clot in her left leg and a cyst in her right wrist which will require surgery😭😭😭
With her liver being as it is they have to get the meds 100% accurate for the clot.
With the time off from work she will more than likely lose this job, which is her favorite.
Please be in prayer. Thank you all so very much!!
Many of you may have wondered why I have not started working on our story again. It’s because it makes me miss her more.
Maybe I should start again despite that because it will also remind me of what God did to bring us together in the first place and how both our lives have forever changed because of it.
Asides from all that I managed to smash my left thumb like a grape last week. I was hoping it would heal properly and I wouldn’t lose any of my skin much less my thumb. It was healing great and then all of a sudden it opened up big time while I was trying to clean out from under my fingernail. That felt weird let me tell ya. So yeah, I probably will lose a piece of my thumb. Oh joy😥
Now that the holidays are over and I am back to making a real full check maybe I can get caught up on the bills again. Holiday pay for us sucks when that day would have been 11 hours overtime and then we are off the next day as well. Our checks have been short 300 which makes a HUGE difference. I had to borrow money from work just to pay child support. Looks like I may have to borrow more to pay the light bill. It skyrocketed with the floor heaters I have to use as there is not central air or heat in this house. That and the fact that when Brandon stays I wake up the next morning to find every light in the house on…ughhh.
Man, I was so hoping to be sharing happy pictures of me and Angie with you all today and not this sad story of Stu’s World 😥 But this is how it goes. I should never have expectations and just go with whatever happens as I have pretty much always been let down. Even making plans with the kids and then having things get all messed up because their mom forgets things that had been planned already with her side of the family.
Anyway, I’m jumping off now to go read a few of my YouVersion reading plans for the day. I truly hope everyone has a great week with no let downs in your lives.
Oh yeah, I showed D a picture of me from high school the other day and this is who he said I looked like…
Now he’s just walking around saying I see dead people😂😂
Amy, I saw this picture and thought of you…poem of new beginnings maybe…
Thanks for checking in on me too Amy🤗