Here is the devotional:
Is a great marriage possible without good sex? That’s a question we never thought we’d have to answer. My wife and I married young and thought our sex life would be effortless and fun. We were good kids in a good marriage, so why wouldn’t that include good sex?
Within the first year, my wife was pregnant. She started experiencing stabbing pain during intercourse. We assumed it was a pregnancy complication. But the pregnancy passed, and the pain stayed.
The pain lasted four years. Even after it subsided, emotional scars remained. We would occasionally have what I insensitively called “real sex,” but it wasn’t enjoyable. She was understandably scared the pain would come back. I felt like we were a million miles apart emotionally.
It wasn’t until I learned to love my wife more than I loved sex that our relationship started to heal. When we love each other like Jesus, our marriage is unbreakable.
Here are some tips for an unbreakable marriage:
1. Keep the communication lines open. Both spouses need to feel safe enough to express their desires and fears. Listen closely to your partner and put their needs above yours. If you both do this, acceptable compromises are within reach.
2. Don’t give up. Just because your expectations aren’t being met doesn’t give you an excuse to quit your marriage. Our vows included the phrase “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” That vow is still as valid as the day we first said it.
3. Don’t look over the fence. Once you start to feel like your sex life is hopeless, it’s tempting to start looking outside your marriage for fulfillment. If you’re struggling with pornography, get help. Also, don’t share your struggles with members of the opposite sex. You may find a person who is empathetic and understanding, but that relationship can undermine your marriage.
4. Find help. Sharing your experiences together as a couple with someone who can help is vital. We struggled for so long because we were too scared to talk to anyone. Find a counselor or a therapist. If the problem is physical, talk to your doctor.
No matter how difficult your situation, I promise you it can be better than it is today. Even if sex as you see it will never again be possible, there are ways to find fulfillment and lasting intimacy. God has the supernatural ability to make all things new and that includes your sex life.
Here are the scriptures referenced:
Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19 KJV
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 KJV
The Lord will preserve him, and keep him alive; and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies.
The Lord will strengthen him upon the bed of languishing: thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness.
Psalms 41:2-3 KJV
Here are Stu’s thoughts:
This is a hard one to answer for me and here is why…
I don’t want to find out! I enjoy sex!
So I will say that the answer is no!
And yet I can also say yes. But it would be really tough.
Now before you start bashing me for that allow me to explain what I have heard from others and have experienced myself.
YES!!! There are medical reasons for not having intercourse. Notice I said intercourse…the act of penetration. Oral Sex is still sex! Heck a massage can be an act of sex without actually having sex…trust me.
Women with endometriosis can have a very hard time with intercourse. Certain positions are out of the question as it can cause severe pain. Certain angles of the penis can cause pain. And yet I have never been with a woman who has had endometriosis that did not still want to have sex, so we experimented slowly with positioning.
It’s called being considerate guys! If a position is causing pain do not have sex in that position. I don’t care if it’s your favorite one or not.
Now the reason I say it would be tough is this…
God made men to where we feel the most connected with our spouse after orgasm. Once those endorphins are released we men feel connected more. That is why the no sex in marriage is always harder on the men, generally speaking.
Which by the way is also why men that masturbate to porn have such a hard time stopping…among other reasons of course😥
Women feel connected through sex as well but can also feel just as connected through a conversation. Weird but that’s how God made us.
Could I be happily married to say… Angie without making love to her ever again?
The answer would have to yes because our relationship has never revolved around sex. We always want to make love to each other. We just don’t have to!!!
And we could make love! It would just be in a different form than actual intercourse.
If for some reason I could never “perform” in bed again I would always please her one way or another sexually. And I know the same would go for her.
So I guess, I will recant my no from earlier😊
It would be tough but there are other ways to reach intimacy including sexual intimacy, without penetration.
*Sorry everyone. This one got lost in my draft folder. I just found it😮*