Reflections On Giving My Testimony

Wow! Today marks the 8th year anniversary of me giving my testimony on stage at the Wrestling For Your Life Men’s Conference.

I remember listening to the opening worship band and my phone rings😮 Seeing who called I stepped out of the auditorium and took the call. It was Angie calling to tell me she loves me and that she was praying for me and that she would for the remainder of the evening. What a boost to my morale as I was a nervous wreck!

I wanted her there by my side but all our kids were in school. There was no way both of us could take a vacation at the same time.

But what a joy it was to hear her voice! And still is today😊 But of course y’all knew that already😊

My feet were so heavy walking up that stage despite the prayers. The devil did NOT want me doing this. And he fought hard against me and the other organizers of the conference even months before the actual event took place.

But I did walk up those stairs and as nervous as I was I shared my story for the first time to an actual live audience. I didn’t look out into the sea of faces I kept my head glued to my phone, which is where I kept my story.

Sharing with other men, and yes some ladies, my beginnings of my porn struggle, where it took me and how God pulled me out was a challenge. But as the words flowed so did the Holy Spirit. Straight off the stage and into the audience.

I didn’t go into lavish details just as I have not on my blog because it hurts to know just how deep in I was. And speaking on some things just didn’t feel right or I was simply not lead to divulge it.

As I finished speaking, I did finally look out into the audience and saw men with the heads down and others standing in ovation. It was the men with the heads down that I had the chance to talk with afterwards…a little.

Amazing how so many porn addicts/sufferers of my generation started out the same way yet chose different avenues to their addiction. Some watched only soft porn, some went straight to lesbian porn, some bi-curious and others like myself gravitated towards gay porn. BUT, we all had one thing in common…we all wanted it to end!

And I’m sure it did end for some praise God. But one must truly want freedom and be willing to fight for it to get it. I often wonder how many that night went home and watched😥 instead of fighting their urge through prayer…

It’s not an easy problem to run from. Sex sells. That’s why there are commercials with a sexy chick in a bikini selling cars or hamburgers. Eye candy goes a long way including the buff guys without shirts and low cut jeans…it sells.

Dear porn user, whether female or male, I have been there. Freedom is possible! Freedom is worth fighting for! Integrity is worth fighting for! Your marriage is worth fighting for! Your walk with God is worth fighting for! Heck, your own sanity is worth fighting for!

So fight! Hit your knees in prayer when the urge hits. I don’t care how stupid you may feel you look to those around you! And they won’t either! Share with them why your praying and let them pray with you and for you!

I’m here for you as well. Email me at stubaby777@gmail.com. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can and we can talk. I’ll even give you my number so you can call when the urge hits. Be accountable to someone!

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