Six Years Ago Today I Shared My Story For The First Time

So much stuff happened that week. From meeting Ted DiBiase, Kerri from Kerri Chronicles and Laura Thompson to me getting up on that stage with shaking knees to share my story.

This was in my Facebook memories this morning…

Just want to say thank you to all my friends who prayed for me today. I would love to tag you all in this post but there are too many of you who prayed for me to have strength today. It was by your prayers that I was able to walk on that stage and speak. I spoke from my heart. It was not easy for I was nervous and I know my voice cracked..and yes I had to stifle the tears as I spoke especially when I shared how God spoke to me about my addiction and how it was keeping his daughters from a relationship with him.

But coming off that stage and getting that first hug from a gentleman that said thank you so much…you have given me hope and an inspiration, made it ALL worth it. And then the next hug and the next hug I came to realize that I did what God wanted me to do.

Though the turnout was not as big as Dave and I had hoped for. It was, as Ted put it, exactly as God planned. There were no salvation experiences tonight but several rededicated their lives to the Lord tonight. Praise God!

Thank you Angie for calling me just to say I am praying for you right before I went on stage. Thank you Pastor Dave and Laura for the opportunity to share and be a part of this!

I will forever remember that experience, the hugs given and the words spoken into my life that weekend as it has given me the strength to continue sharing my story on stages, one on one and in group settings over the years. Because that is what God wants me to do.

It is by one changed heart at a time that we will win this war over porn, sex-trafficking and using people for own selfishness. It’s the same tactic the devil uses. He hooks one and then that person goes hey check this out. Then so on and so on.

It is time to take back what the devil stole from these people by sharing Christ and what He has done for each of us…one changed heart at a time.

Me and Ted DiBiase

This picture really shows how little I weighed back then. I was a skeleton…lol

Ted is such a humble man. I praise God for the chance to meet him, hear his story in person and just hang out with him.

*Some of what I shared on the stage that night is mixed into the Dear Porn Star: Please Forgive Me post because the things that happened in that post technically happened months before it was put to “ink”. I was honestly scared to write about it. I felt people would run from me going awwwhhhh!!! with their hands flailing in the air. But it was that post that brought my blog into the so called limelight as it went viral on various forums.

It brings to mind this verse from Isaiah…

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord .
Isaiah 55:8 KJV

God may tell us to do something that makes no sense in our eyes but in His it’s the perfect thing to do 😊

It has truly been a journey. A journey of sorrow, anger, resentment, failings, joy, forgiveness, victories and hope. A journey that has brought many out of the depths of porn because I was willing to share my story.

God bless guys!

36 thoughts on “Six Years Ago Today I Shared My Story For The First Time”

  1. Hi- congrats on the six years- and your story is so powerful and so relevant – and sadly – more and more people are getting lured into the porn addiction at a younger and younger age with all this easy access. And women are vulnerable too – although men can be so much more visual and then as you know – the addiction part can personality related and whew!
    But god’s grace is always there and His Strength is our fuel and and anchor and congrats again for your sharing of your story and the humility you carry with it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Sadly you are correct. Easy access is making it a lot easier for youngsters to find it. The youngest I have heard is 10 but that may change as more or more parents give their kids tablets and other devices to be the babysitter.

      It’s not just a man’s problem anymore. About 30 percent of women have admitted to watching. I still feel the stats for men at 50 percent is way off…I’d say more like 75 view it regularly 😦

      Only through God was I able to stop. He is so the anchor I hold toπŸ˜‡

      Thank you Yvette for your heartfelt comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi – I am glad to converse on the subject –
        and am praying about a post about porn –
        I do have some personal thoughts on it –
        and there is a great book called the “brain that changes itself” which talks about why porn viewing needs to get kinkier and kinkier – it has to do with threshold and how the brain experiences the dopamine and spark in the nervous system.
        and “threshold” is a very curious thing because when people “fast” from orgasms – they have the ability to experience better ones.

        I canot find the blog – but I once read a post from a guy – not even a christian – who talked about fasting from sex to break an addiction and then he found the perk was a better experience.

        and in our culture – some view porn viewing as benign and then anyone who challenges it is an extremist – or “judging”
        and hey – so let’s not judge –
        but let’s say that for most people caught int he addiction of porn. they are not free – they are not happy
        and they have a stronghold to break
        and by the blood of Jesus Christ all strong holds can be broken and stay broken –

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh, I have been called many things because of my stance on porn. Yet after a real conversation they understand the dangers. Fasting from orgasms does lead to better…more powerful ones at least on the male side of the equation.

          I will have to to try to find that book. Sounds like a good one. Thanks for sharing that. Sounds a little like Covenant Eyes ebook Your Brain On Porn.

          Your right…they are not free at all. They are in chains and most don’t realize it until they get found out and get help. Then they realize the truth of their addiction.

          Amen on Jesus breaking strongholds!!!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. The book – the brain that changes itself – is really great and has so much good science – it is not a Christian book but a few parts can be used to support some of the things we are talking about for holistic wellness and for thriving!
            Ahhhh

            Thanks again for your story and I look forward to keeping the conversation going

            Liked by 1 person

              1. Fully agree- and on a practical and most basic level – porn addiction can be a huge life distraction – I know it might sound obvious (and this area is a huge part of your ministry) and one more angle to it relates to if the enemy has someone completely distracted and caught up in it – they can’t be in tune with the Holy Spirit
                and a verse that comes to mind is to
                “Walk circumspectly”

                And I have a question for you.
                Do you have a post for someone who wants to read more about why porn is bad and how soft porn can lead to more degradation?
                I have a blog post in mind that I would like to link your blog…

                Liked by 1 person

                    1. I checked most of my posts about porn. They are mostly from the male perspective though I believe that they could be viewed from the female perspective of the sexual fantasy side that romance novels give. Not many men could live up to some of that stuff.

                      But here is a link to a post I started. It shares links to other blogs and several are from women who have struggled…
                      https://stubaby777.wordpress.com/2018/05/09/breaking-the-chains-one-link-at-a-time/

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Well I did not really ask for the female perspective – because I had guys in mind for this post suggestion,
                      But I get that there are differences
                      Although I was (no longer am) but was shocked when a guy we knew in the 90s revealed his big struggle was erotic fiction!
                      So we need to watch it when we assign gender and as you know – it is not appealing to reality or who could live up to it….
                      It is voyeuristic behavior in a turned on mode
                      It is taking the basic act of sex and making it dirty and dark and secretive

                      Like would someone get off watching people self massage their feet?
                      Anyhow – i have counseling in my background which includes healing a few folks with porn addiction and in many ways it is not as gender specific (IMHO)
                      And one thing recently I have been realizing with some folks is that
                      The porn addiction is harder to break when it becomes the person’s only parasympathetic nervous system release

                      So if someone is not working out (which could be even just walking to release pent up energy) well the mastubration and orgasm becomes the only physical relief to stress and it is one more thing that sucks them back in – all the condition and habits – but the very serious cortisol spoke – dopamine high and then in some cases – it is the only way they have stress release from their body – ya know?
                      So in counseling we remind folks to get physical stress relief and pay attention to physiological aspects

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. I’m sorry for making the assumption. But you are correct I have heard of men like erotic fiction.

                      With someone who has a foot fetish yeah, I could see them getting off from watching that.

                      No it’s not gender specific as more and more woman are admitting to watching 😦

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Thanks so much for your time
                      Bless you sir!
                      Bless
                      Your blog and your ministry and in Jesus name I pray for sfrenfyh and protector in all areas for you!
                      And that you will continue to be a beacon of light
                      😊

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. You sure do make assumptions – and not to sound mean – but that is the second time you did this – I never said it was for a husband – I will state it again – I wanted to know if you had any posts for me to add to a blog post for some of my followers
                      – and while I am sure wives want info for hubs or other men

                      My spouse is actually a coach and does do some counseling with men on this topic – and not sure if you heard of the book “every man’s battle” but about 12 to 15 years ago that was huge in a lot of Christian counseling circles
                      And the idea of “bouncing” was something we taught our kids (male and female) and the idea is that we do not need to soak up every sexualized image that comes our way-
                      And the idea is to bounce the eyes away before the image takes root!
                      And to be quite honest – not to sound prude – but I am feel a little stained from some of the graphic details your mentioned in one of your posts -the apology to the porn star-/ you did warn the reader and said you would not hold back
                      – but I think sometimes the point could have been made without a few graphic examples
                      But hey! It is your blog – and you know what God is leading you to share in every single post!
                      But by giving the details it can stain a bit

                      And I once read this with witchcraft and the occult –
                      You can give something strength if you share details and give word pictures –
                      Just wanted to mention that.
                      Anyhow
                      There are a ton of resources for me to access (and also recall Triple x church around 14 years ago as they helped a lot of folks with porn)
                      And sorry for all the confusion here
                      Again
                      I was just asking for a post to link to my blog in case any readers wanted to see a post with your experience

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. The courage to share our stories allows others to see God through our lives. Through your strength, courage and dedication, you are helping to change the lives of others who struggle. May God continue to bless your journey Stuart.

    Liked by 1 person

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