I was chatting with a good friend of mine the other day and we were discussing some of the things that make us feel lonely. One thing she brought up struck a cord with me. I could relate. I’ve had the same thing happen to me on numerous occasions. I’m sure you have as well.
You know what? Not having your opinion or thoughts appreciated or even considered can be very painful.
Have you ever been asked to share you opinion or thought on something and then have the very person that asked you go “Have you lost your mind?”, “That won’t work at all”, or “That’s just stupid”? I have. And I’m like well you asked, but inside it hurts like crazy.
But after a while you just get to the point where you just don’t want to answer them at all because you know it will not matter what you say.
What about the times your boyfriend or girlfriend ask you where would you like to go tonight for dinner? You then name several places and their answer is no…to every one of them. You finally get to the point where your answer is “I don’t care”, when in fact you do care.
Men, how about your wife? How often have you asked her opinion and then reply to her answer with words that hurt her? And from then on her answer is whatever.
Ladies, have you done the same thing to your husband?
Having our opinions is part of who we are, as a person. And not having those opinions appreciated or even taken into consideration leaves that person with feelings they should not have. Feelings such as unappreciated, unworthiness, resentment and even loneliness. Yes, loneliness. It can almost make them feel as if they don’t matter, which is a very lonely state of mind to be in.
Can I say something? We, and I’m talking to myself as well, need to stop this. This is not healthy for ANY relationship. If you care about that person, then their opinion should matter, their thoughts should matter because they matter.