I just want you to know that I have been there. I also understand that each story is different, though they are all filled with some hurt and disappointment.
I was that child that, despite many friends, was still lonely.
I was that kid who was very sexually curious.
I was that young adult who let that curiosity take him places he should not have gone.
I was that child who was molested…sadly. No child should EVER have to fall victim for someone else’s sin.
I was that teenager who could not figure out if he was gay or straight.
I was that young Christian who really did not understand what it meant to follow the REAL Christ and went astray.
I was the new husband who did not know what it meant to be one, in mind, body and soul, with my wife and made a lot of mistakes.
I was that new daddy who tried as hard as he could not to let his temper flare and be the “bad” dad…and…yet I did. I will remember the look on my daughter’s face the first time I yelled at her for the rest of my life. The hurt I saw in her eyes will forever be etched in my memory.
I was that husband who watched his marriage fall apart and let thoughts of suicide creep in.
I am the man who sought God!
God forever changed me from the inside.
I am the broken and sinful man who found forgiveness through Jesus Christ, the Son of my Creator.
God, through the shed blood of Christ has forgiven me of my sexual activities, my addiction to porn and alcohol, the bad words I said to others..as well as the ones I called myself, my anger and resentment towards my dad and a slew of other offenses.
I know what it is like to have victory one minute and total defeat the next. I know the ups and downs of trying to clean your life up. I’ve been on top of the mountain and in the deepest darkest hole imaginable.
Yet through it all God has held my hand and kept me from going back to my past lifestyles.
Do I still want to drink? Yes…I do and have. Just not in excess! I know my limits. I think my total drinking has been maybe twenty times in fourteen years.
Do I still look at porn? I HATE porn and yet..the urge is still there. I’m not gonna lie…I have fallen several times in the last nine years. That first year was hard!
Even now it is hard sometimes to say no when the stress and loneliness takes its toll.
Does my anger rear its ugly head? Yes, but for the most part I walk away, take a breather and then carry on the conversation with whomever or address my children.
As you can see my life has been a journey to say the least. It still is. It is just that my journey now is a renewal process. I am becoming righteous, working out my own salvation with the help of the Holy Spirit.
I hope you can see that I am no longer the person of old, though occasionally it does rear it’s ugly sinful head. I’m a sinner who has found forgiveness.
My prayer for you dear friend is that you will diligently seek God as I have. That you will follow the real Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to move in your life.
If you would like help along your journey please know that I am here for you. I will pray for you. I will pray with you. I am only an email away at stubaby777@gmail. I am also on Facebook and Twitter. You can message me there as well.