Dear Friend…I Have Been There


Dear friend,

I just want you to know that I have been there. I also understand that each story is different, though they are all filled with some hurt and disappointment.

I was that child that, despite many friends, was still lonely.

I was that kid who was very sexually curious.

I was that young adult who let that curiosity take him places he should not have gone.

I was that child who was molested…sadly. No child should EVER have to fall victim for someone else’s sin.

I was that teenager who could not figure out if he was gay or straight.

I was that young Christian who really did not understand what it meant to follow the REAL Christ and went astray.

I was the new husband who did not know what it meant to be one, in mind, body and soul, with my wife and made a lot of mistakes.

I was that new daddy who tried as hard as he could not to let his temper flare and be the “bad” dad…and…yet I did. I will remember the look on my daughter’s face the first time I yelled at her for the rest of my life. The hurt I saw in her eyes will forever be etched in my memory.

I was that husband who watched his marriage fall apart and let thoughts of suicide creep in.

And yet…..

I am the man who sought God!

God forever changed me from the inside.

I am the broken and sinful man who found forgiveness through Jesus Christ, the Son of my Creator.

God, through the shed blood of Christ has forgiven me of my sexual activities, my addiction to porn and alcohol, the bad words I said to well as the ones I called myself, my anger and resentment towards my dad and a slew of other offenses.

I know what it is like to have victory one minute and total defeat the next. I know the ups and downs of trying to clean your life up. I’ve been on top of the mountain and in the deepest darkest hole imaginable.

Yet through it all God has held my hand and kept me from going back to my past lifestyles.

Do I still want to drink? Yes…I do and have. Just not in excess! I know my limits. I think my total drinking has been maybe twenty times in fourteen years.

Do I still look at porn? I HATE porn and yet..the urge is still there. I’m not gonna lie…I have fallen several times in the last nine years. That first year was hard!

Even now it is hard sometimes to say no when the stress and loneliness takes its toll.

Does my anger rear its ugly head? Yes, but for the most part I walk away, take a breather and then carry on the conversation with whomever or address my children.

As you can see my life has been a journey to say the least. It still is. It is just that my journey now is a renewal process. I am becoming righteous, working out my own salvation with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I hope you can see that I am no longer the person of old, though occasionally it does rear it’s ugly sinful head. I’m a sinner who has found forgiveness.

My prayer for you dear friend is that you will diligently seek God as I have. That you will follow the real Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to move in your life.

If you would like help along your journey please know that I am here for you. I will pray for you. I will pray with you. I am only an email away at stubaby777@gmail. I am also on Facebook and Twitter. You can message me there as well.

God Bless,

28 thoughts on “Dear Friend…I Have Been There”

  1. “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”
    ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    Keep going forward brother! I’ve been there too!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I used to go with my daughter to AA meetings a number of years ago. She’s a Christian now and her story is like yours, and mine. I’ve often thought that we should have a time in our church service to have a testimony like they do at AA meeting. “Hi, my name is Bruce and I’m a sinner”. A time set aside where people get to hear the real you or me and understand that we all have a story and we all have and have had our ups and downs. And to share from our hearts what meeting Jesus and walking with Jesus means to our lives, like you just did. I know you’re not perfect Stuart, but then neither am I. I will tell you this though, I’d be proud to stand with you any day of the week as a brother in Christ. And I thank you for being as real as you can be. Grace and blessings.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Bruce! And I would be proud to stand by you as well!

      Thank the Lord your daughter is a Christian now!

      I so agree with you about the testimony needing to be a part of the church services 👊

      Just from my time at Celebrate Recovery and having testimony night once a month was a life changer for so many including myself! Though our struggles were/are different our testimony proves that there is hope, grace, forgiveness and a new life!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Stuart for your honesty and genuine share. You touch my heart, and I don’t know how to express myself in English, but I am so glad that you are writing about this.
    From my depth in my heart, thank you.
    I wish you a great day🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Lillian…some things that touch our heart can not be expressed in words no matter how bad we want them to.

      Your words of genuine appreciation are more than enough 😊 Thank you!

      I hope your day is awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello Brother, my friend!
    Your testimony was very real and I know full of truth. Everyone has a story, everyone has sinned and falls short, everyone has done things that they said they would never do! Everyone sins, but as we walk along our paths, GOD is working on us, daily, and HIS word sharpens us and turns us in the right directions. Thank you for your honesty, so people will read and not feel so alone in all they are going through Stu. Let us be there for one another, as you have said here. We are to walk alongside each other……’s why GOD gave us each other in the first place! Blessing friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Maxine! I know for a fact I would not be where I am today of other men had not walked beside me, prayed for me and held me accountable. It is a part of all Christian’s ministry work.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This took a lot of guts and bravery to admit. You make a difference in others lives! People need to know that God loves them through EVERY mistake and failure, and that they still have value with Him. Gonna repost! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Stu this was absolutely beautifully written, transparent and expressive. God loves us unconditionally through the good, bad and ugly. He embraces our imperfections with open arms and has forgiveness towards us. Looking beyond, and sees the beauty within. Thanks for posting Stu. 😁


  7. Heart warming read your post. I say that because of the honest open way you describe your frailness and how Big God is in your life. However our sinful nature manifest itself we always have the choice on what to do but with choice comes the struggle. I remember standing in the cereal isle in the states the first time we were home on our furlough. I had been living in a country with only a couple of choices of cereal, usually I just made my own. There was no struggle about the choices but here, where the donate a whole isle to cereal it’s a struggle to make a choice. Bless you brother for opening yourself up, I know this post will be a help to anyone who is struggling. Not sure how many choices we will have concerning what we will eat in heaven but I so not believe choice will be a struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Betty. I appreciate your comment. I hope all is well for you!

      Yeah, when we sit down at the big huge table in Heaven I don’t think we will care what food is on it 🙂


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