I am so honored that Dollfaced Writer and Purple Rose continually remember me when they nominate folks for these. I love doing these because they are unique and allow me to share things I probably would not otherwise. Thank you Dollface for tagging me in what I know was a hard tag for you to create. Love ya sis❤
The Meaning of this Tag:
A father is someone who loves his child unconditionally, provides for them, protects them always, teaches them values, disciplines them fairly, and wants the best for them. For that, we should always, ALWAYS have respect for our fathers. They are created to bear the responsibility of caring for and protecting their families just as God calls them to do. Father’s Day is about reminding your father how much you appreciate him, but I hope this tag will perhaps remind you this month how blessed you are to have a father at all.
As I said before, this is a very hard day for me every year. My father and I have a very complex relationship. In fact, it is the polar opposite of my relationship with my mother. Growing up I felt abandoned, rejected, unloved, forgotten, and neglected because of his behavior that stemmed from alcoholism and what I believe could have been other mental health issues (don’t quote me, I’m not a doctor XD).
I will always love my father. He is a part of me, half of me to be exact. However, mustering the strength to honor or respect him at all has taken a long time to do. We talk sometimes over text, but not a lot. Some days he responds and I feel like we’re getting somewhere, then he vanishes like he always did. It has helped living a thousand miles away from him since finishing high school, but I have come to accept the pain I feel from my childhood will never go away. Recently, in the last week actually, he said something that has proven he’ll never change. I was trying to gain closure, but he continues to blame me for things that I may talk about in another post. Anyways, he may move on in his life, which is painful for me to watch, but that doesn’t change the past he continues to deny and blame me for.
If you have a similar situation, whether you have been abused, manipulated, abandoned, or rejected by your father (even someone else in your family), can I give you some advice that has helped me cope with such a toxic relationship?
You have a choice. You can walk away. You can block a number. You can say no. You can cut them off from your life. That doesn’t mean you don’t honor them, that just means you have enough respect for yourself to protect your heart and enough respect for them to love them at a safe distance. You can pray for someone every day and never talk to them again. Isn’t that better than subjecting yourself to more pain and building up further resentment that could become the poison of unforgiveness? I think so, because no one deserves to be abused in any way. You deserve love. If you don’t/didn’t receive that love from your father, always know you have a Father in Heaven who loves you more than your father ever could.
I hope you do have an awesome father though. If you do, give him a bear hug and be grateful to have the best protector you could have on this earth. If you don’t, pray for him, friend.
Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you to participate.
2. Use the original featured image.
3. Copy and paste the introduction and meaning of this tag at the beginning of your post, along with the links to both creators’ original posts. *This rule is very important. Please, please link this post and Purple Rose’s post so that as authors we may be alerted when a tag is published. It also gives us proper credit, which is much appreciated. Thank you ❤
4. Answer the questions.
5. Nominate one or more people to participate.
6. Enjoy the rest of your month! 🙂
Here are the questions for this month’s tag:
1. What is your relationship like with your biological father, if anything at all?
The easiest thing to say is that it is strained relationship.
2. What is one thing you would change about your father if you could? What is one thing you wouldn’t change?
To go back before the alcohol, before meeting my mom and even before high school to a time and place where he became to hate God for taking his little brother.
Right now, the one thing I wouldn’t change is his heavenly inheritance! Yes, my dad is now a child of God.
3. Who do you celebrate on Father’s Day (your father, step-father, grandfather, uncle, etc.)?
I do not do much. A phone call or text.
4. What was the most valuable thing he taught you?
🤔…. it’s sad that I can’t think of anything 😦
5. What is one thing he does that you would never do?
Well we have both done the alcohol game, but the one thing he has done in the past was cheat on my mom. That IS something I would NEVER do to the woman I love!
6. How do you honor him on Father’s Day?
By sending a text or a quick phone call.
7. How has your relationship with him impacted the person/parent you are today?
When I got married the second time I quit drinking because I did not want my kids to endure what I did growing up with (in my eyes) an angry alcoholic.
So he impacted me by not impacting me because I swore to not be like him and actually be a part of my kids lives on a daily basis.
I also learned that golf clubs when thrown into the lake sink fast and must be retrieved by the smallest member of the party…the child.
Was there but he wasn’t.
It is not the child’s place to build a relationship with their parents. It is the parents job to build the relationship with their children.
But he is my dad and I love him. It is just a strained father/son relationship even after coming to terms with our past and forgiving one another.
This month I am tagging…🤔🤔
Ladies and gents please do not feel obligated to participate. I just want to get to know you better 🙂