Don’t Bring Old Flames Into Your Marriage

This is by no means scriptural but something I feel must be addressed.

Ladies, please understand that your husband has feelings. He has a mind, a heart, a desire, and a yearning for his wife. But when you compare him to past lovers you cut him to the core.

It’s like our hearts are ripped in two and it affects our entire existence.

Men, the same is true for your wife!

Do not do this! It is not only hurting the others feelings it is hurting your marriage and your sex life. The mind takes those negative words in to the deepest recesses of our brain and pulls them back up at THE wrong moments. Dead off in the middle of making love one partner could just lose the moment because they are wondering “am I pleasing her/him?”

Guys, though we remember things well sometimes, your wife remembers things you told her while you were dating her. She may not mention them to you but trust me she remembers them. If you told her of past body types you liked, what type of hair you liked..whatever..she remembers. It is in their mind. You MUST reiterate your love and desire for her daily!

Ladies, if you told your husband, while you were dating, about a past boyfriend and how he was in bed your husband remembers. And if he feels he is not living up to that image you described to him..well..your sex life suffers and your marriage suffers.


Forget your past lovers! There is no room in your marriage for them! Concentrate on your spouse. Spend quality time in bed…yeah, quickies are exciting…but to truly appreciate each others body you need to learn. Turn the lights on. Watch each other, talk to each other, think of nothing else but your mutual pleasures, heck try breathing in unison…slowly.

For the divided attention of a spouse leaves the other unfulfilled and could lead to seeking it outside the marriage bed. As in adultery(which includes pornography).

What we should be saying is this:

What we have is too special to compare to anything else in the world.

8 thoughts on “Don’t Bring Old Flames Into Your Marriage”

  1. I’ve been in this several times. Back in my dating days (which were few and far between) I had an era of women who could not get over the last guy. And as hard as I tried to make them understand my love and affection for them, they were just completely lost in the past. Made me feel like pure crap.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. It’s what made me (the nice guy) just want to be the biggest jerk I could possibly be! After the crying and confusion they did and went through (or so they told me) they were still in love.. who am I? Why am I here? John the shadow.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Sometimes, it truly made me wonder…if you went through what you said you did, then why do you still say how awesome he was…then I would think…’s because that’s all he was good at. Made it a little easier for me.

          Liked by 2 people

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