You Can’t Heal What You Refuse To Confront


Here in lies a very big truth.

No matter what you struggle with, you can not heal if you refuse to confront the core issue.

True freedom comes with surrendering everything. If you are not willing to allow God into that big closet that houses all those hurts you’ve been hanging on to, you will not heal. You will not find true freedom.

You can white knuckle it for months at a time but eventually, because you have not addressed the core issue or issues, you will fall. Then you have to cope with the guilt and shame all over again.

I played that merry-go-round for years. You want to know what made me get off that ride and seek out the root of my problems? I honestly got tired of the cycle.

Every single time I fell I would scream out to God asking “Why can’t I stop?”and “Why am I this way?” You can read about part of the why here. I was fighting too many demons and it affected my mind, my body and my health. I was just tired.

I had to get help. I had to confront it all. So I sought out men who had struggled with porn and won. I had to open up and real honest about a lot of things I had kept buried. As James 5:16 states…

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

It’s really scary and yet so freeing to be open…to be…honest…to be… vulnerable.

That vulnerability gave me the chance to truly heal certain wounds. I will be honest that confronting certain parts of my past was very painful but it was worth it.

But what keeps me from going back to that lifestyle is not the guys that helped me, nor is it the guys that I help, but rather a fear of sorts. I am afraid that this verse in 2 Peter will come true.

I was messed up back then I tell you. I truly was polluted. My thoughts of intimacy was polluted. My thoughts of sex was polluted. My whole life was polluted. I can NOT for the life of me even begin to image it being worse. And I do not want to find out.

That’s why I continue fighting through the loneliness and all the other triggers that once held me. And I fight it through prayer, reading my Bible, reaching out to the very ones who are struggling and yes, white knuckling it for a day or two if I have to.

You may ask why I still have to white knuckle it on occasion when I am walking in freedom from porn addiction…it’s because, though I am a child God saved by His grace, I never once said I was walking in freedom from sin.

Dear friends, if you want to truly heal from your hurts, your fears and even your addiction you have to be willing to confront the very things, the core issues, that caused them.

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32 thoughts on “You Can’t Heal What You Refuse To Confront”

  1. Wow. This is truly an eye-opener and inspiring post, Stuart. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story for His glory and encouragement to us all. So many people are missing out on true intimacy with God and with other people because they cannot open themselves up. We all have that problem, some more than others. It can’t be easy, and you are in my prayers. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It so refreshing to see honesty in needing help. We all struggle with something. When we let go of our pride and admit to needing God and his help along with others, it goes so much easier. Thank you for sharing Stuart!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent post and I do not know why we as Christian men think that after we are saved, the flesh will surrender to us. Pffft! Yeah, right. The old man flesh is a brutal foe that we must fight daily! I feel your pain about the white knuckling…I struggle with the flesh’s own lewdness and thoughts. I am learning to give my sexual desires over to God and asking Him to help my thought life. Even typing this, I am realizing that memorizing Scripture can help renew my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Tristan! Yes, memorizing scripture is a vital part of the renewal process. We, as Christians, need to quote scripture when tempted just as Christ did when Satan took Him away to be tempted. Christ quoted the Word. Spoken out loud.
      I think a lot of the issue comes from behind the pupit, in reference to what to the once we get saved our flesh sill surrender to us. The preachers say just accept Jesus and everything will be ok. And a lot of churches are not making disciples after a person accepts Christ…but that is a post in and of itself…one day..maybe.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting πŸ™‚
      Love your blog btw

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s so true .. this reminded me of one Chinese movie on GOD and how people use to believe in Satan and how that transformation helped them by accepting to confront wots happening around.. Ur words are that real and powerful πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a very true, strong post. You really pinpoint the three important points: we have to
    understand that our sinful urges are responses to events and patterns in our history; we have to
    find and confront those events and patterns, and push against them; we have to confess and
    surrender the situation to God. We have to bring the demons out into the light, and into the
    warmth of God’s love, before they will unravel. I am still struggling with urges and demons, but
    since I found God (a few years ago) the battle has been moving in the right direction.

    David (also on twitter as @unnameab73)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for commenting David! I still struggle with it as well. Sin, in any form, is a daily struggle. I praise God He found you! I also am proud of the strides you have made in your walk with the Lord.
      Feel free to comment any time brother. God bless!

      Like

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