Do you remember all those spankings we used to get as kids? Do you remember the pain your rear felt? I do. I may still have little red dots on my rear from being paddled with one that holes drilled in it for air resistance. But…
That’s not the type of discipline I want to talk about right now, though. I want to talk about self discipline.
Have you have ever been addicted to something and tried to get free? If you have, then you have an idea how painful discipline can be.
If you are walking in freedom from your addiction then you understand the rewards.
But it’s the journey between the two that can be so taxing.
Wanting to be free from any addiction takes strength. But doing the self discipline it takes to be free can be so painful you may feel as if you wish you were dead.
Now, I’ve never done drugs per se but I have heard some horrendous stories from those who have detoxed.
I was a big drinker growing up. And there was a time when I had to do the hard thing of distancing myself from those “friends” who were my drinking partners in order to stop. Some of them didn’t understand, at the time, why I stopped hanging around them. They get it now, as they themselves have had to do the same. It’s not easy to walk away and not look back.
When I stopped watching porn I went through some major withdrawals. The brain can be a very mean beast when you try to deny it of certain things it has grown accustomed to.
I got major headaches. I actually had the shakes for a bit. My brain played scenes over and over in my head trying to make me go back so I could keep the pathway alive.
I didn’t want to keep it alive. I wanted it D E A D!
It did not take days, weeks or months. It took years. And I still struggle. I can’t lie about that. Sex is a part of everyday life. You can’t run from it.
It was hard making a choice not to watch certain shows or movies. It got a lot easier, faster than I thought it would.
It was tough choosing to not look at women unless I had to at work. It was real hard to look away. That got easier as I trained my eyes.
It was extremely hard to stop masturbating when lonely or on those nights when I couldn’t go to sleep, because that’s what I had always done…even if I just had sex with my wife at the time. Yes, you can be lonely and married.
But all those struggles…all that training of my eyes to not take that second look…all those tearful praying sessions were so worth it to be able to walk in the freedom I have now.
It awesome to be walking in freedom. It’s amazing to know what true intimacy means. It’s great to be able to look at a woman and see her and not what porn taught me to see.
It’s good to know that I don’t have to drink in order to have a “good” time.
Thank you Father for your forgiving mercy and grace.
Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.
Romans 6:18 KJV
What was the hardest thing you had to do to be free from your addiction?
How did you discipline your mind and body and deny yourself?
What advice would you give someone who wants to be free but feel as if there is no way out?