It’s a Slow Fade

Posted on by Stuart L. Tutt

The first time I heard this song I bawled my eyes out. I actually pulled over to the side of the road as I just could not concentrate. The lyrics just hit me in the gut.

I am an ex-porn addict that started way too young. Be careful little eyes what you see. It’s the second glance that ties your hands. Sadly I took that second look. Then the third, fourth and possibly millions.

When I shared my story with Kerri Chronicles for her show Coffee & Christ, this is the song I chose as the opening. It means that much to me.

I have two precious children that I would die for. But their little feet will follow mine on a daily basis. My footsteps need to be guided by God and not me, for I would lead them wrong.

But I realize that it is a slow fade. Men do not crumble in a day. No man wakes up in the morning with the idea that I’m going to become an alcoholic today. No man, has ever said Yep, today is the day I’m going to become a porn/sex addict….NOT!

Families do not crumble in a day. Satan works long and hard to destroy us and keep us from becoming what God planned.

Look at the world today. This didn’t just happen. It’s been a slow fade for many generations.

Be on guard…IT IS WAR…by the way.

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Published by Stuart L. Tutt

I am just a man who has suffered through a lot, just like most. But now I am seeking God's will for my life. and trying to be a Godly father to my two children.

13 thoughts on “It’s a Slow Fade”

  1. We all need to be on guard. Every day. A slow fade is exactly what happens when any of us wavers in being intentional with our behaviours and words. In my past, each seemingly insignificant unhealthy decision that I made laid the groundwork for increasingly harmful and negative choices. The black and white did turn to grey for me. Even now, as I have found myself on a wonderful God-filled healing journey, often when I begin to feel hopeless, discouraged, down or just off, when I look back over the last days or weeks, I will usually recognize that slow fade. I didn’t pray for a couple of nights, or haven’t connected with others from my recovery group, ignored God’s whisper about something, etc. Complacency sneaks up on me! This is a powerful reminder for all of us, not just recovering and recovered addicts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you used the word intentional. That was my New Year’s resolution/promise…to be intentional with everything. And that takes effort and a lot of it at times. I, too, have skipped prayer time here of late and was like oh wait…the next day is when this happens and then this. Had to ask for forgiveness quick.

      I praise God for what He is doing in your life, your husband’s and your family as a whole. What a mighty God we serve!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I could easily connect but they can be saved from crumbling if and only if they find someone who would understand!! Someone who sees beyond that rough exterior! Then they probably won’t! I have cried with men who have started to fade, it is heart rending when they breakdown. All they need is someone who understands the pain hidden in their depth!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vanya, thank you for this. It is heartbreaking when they breakdown and realize that have a problem. It is almost very heartbreaking when the ones they love breakdown and tell their side. I’m not sure which one breaks my heart more.

      You are right in that we need someone who understands the pain hidden in the depth! And it’s in that moment when healing takes root.

      Liked by 1 person

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