How Long Lord?


What a simple yet very profound question. One I know has been asked many, many times in my life and by others.

You don’t have to be an addict, of any sort, to feel the need to ask that question.

You could simply be struggling with finances, dealing with co-worker issues, battling depression or praying for years for your wayward child.

An addict, who wants to be free from their bondage, will fall and ask how long Lord before I am finally free…free from the desire to use, the craving to partake, free from the images stuck in my head…

For me, it was how long Lord will I continue to allow the devil a foothold in my life. My struggle with porn took me places not only physically but mentally that I would not wish on my worst enemy. That saying, things seen can not be unseen, is so true.

In the beginning of my recovery process scenes from porn videos would simply pop into my head for no reason at all. Sadly, in the beginning, I would let them linger for a bit before trying to shake them.

Now, when those scenes pop up I fight. And by fight I mean pray. And I had to do it just yesterday at work when a certain song by ZZ Top came on the radio.

I thank God for the days of no scenes in my head. I thank Him for the friends He has placed in my life that are there for me. I praise him for who He is and what He has done in my life. And the scenes fades to black.

For just as the psalmist wrote…

I trust in God and His plan for my life. I know there will come a day when the porn scenes will no longer be a problem.

Guys, praise Him during your storm. Give your urges and desires to Him, even on a daily basis if need be. For He WILL see you though to calmer waters.

God Bless,

Stu

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9 thoughts on “How Long Lord?”

  1. Do you feel like the pictures that jump into your head are actually a lingering problem? Were you on the verge of doing something stupid when you heard the song? Putting the spiritual stuff to the side for a second, those triggers are similar to what drug users or PTSD sufferers know as “flashbacks”. They may never go away because the porn altered your brain chemistry. What’s happening is very natural. Wouldn’t a better way to look at it be that God is reminding you of the shackles of porn and it’s nice to have Him tap you on the shoulder now and then just to make sure your skills of denying porn stay sharp? Maybe I’m totally off, but it seems like you could see what happened as a blessing or curse, so why not choose blessing? God is keeping you strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not necessarily a lingering problem. It was the song she wore a pearl necklace…so yeah…thoughts. And I was just walking by the radio during the chorus while getting ready to pull another order.

      I see it as a blessing, honestly. It’s a reminder that I am a lot stronger than I was before

      Liked by 1 person

  2. YES. The Lord has healed so much in me but then this question seems to comback according to the season. God has healed me of anxiety oppression depression and OCD. For the first time in my life my mind is actually quiet. I praise Him daily for that peace. But I am going through a temporary physical trial and the pain at times has had me ask this question. I get tired and weary but in the end yes He will see me through calmer waters. Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

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