Addictions, Battlefield of the Mind, Depression, Faith, God, Hope, Jesus Christ, Life, Life Issues, Living Life On Life's Terms, Loneliness, Porn, Pornography, Prayer, Recovery, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Integrity, Sinfulness, Struggles, Walls
Do you remember the smell of that new house or apartment you moved into?
Do you remember the sense of security you felt knowing the walls would not cave in around you?
Do you remember putting things in the house that made you feel good even if it did not go with the decor of the room?
Have you ever removed something, boxed it up, put in the closet just in case you decided to pull it back out and use it again at a later date?
What happened to the house as the years past by?
Yep, the newness is gone as is the new smell. The walls become miscolored from kids scribbling with pencils, crayons and markers. If you are a smoker they become stained with nicotine. They lose their luster. They start to wear down.
Those new things you bought have been replaced with different things over the years, though the familiarity is still there. Maybe you are holding onto some of those old items even still.
And as the house continues to age you become worried about whether or not the house, the foundation, and the walls are still stable enough. Then doubt can rear it’s head and you start to have concerns and fears.
This all so parallels our lives in some many ways.
We all have this little house that we live in. The one in our mind.
The one where we store all our memories, concerns, frustration and current thoughts. And at times those walls within said house feel like they are caving in around us with all the stressors in life.
There are so many factors that can make you feel this way….
If you are a recovering addict of anything you feel overwhelmed, as you are trying to quit and all the stressors of life are pressing in. More often than not, you feel as if you just want to scream at the top of your lungs. I get it…because I’ve done it…many times.
You know what though? It’s in those moments when I do scream and cry out to God the He steps in and calms my nerves.
There was a time, when I was trying to stop watching porn and life just seemed to be falling in around me. I had issues at home and work, bills overdue, car issues, depression, loneliness and sexual thoughts all the while trying to help others overcome an addiction I, myself, was trying to overcome. And the desire to give in and just watch porn to escape the reality of everything was so strong.
One day I had had enough, so I went out to the woods and screamed out to God…how the hell am I supposed to handle all this at one time. I’m physically tired, emotionally drained, spiritually tired and I don’t know if I can do this.
I still remember that still small voice that said you can’t. Quit trying to do everything by yourself. And let me help.
So, I did. I sat there on that fallen tree for what seemed like hours just laying it all out there…my concerns, my fears and God calmed me down.
He renewed me right there and then. My mind was at peace. He helped me stabilize the walls in my mind to where I didn’t feel the pressure of collapsing under the pressure anymore.
The concern of going in to that closet and pulling out that box of past bad habits subsided and I moved forward.
And to be completely honest those walls have pressed in around me several times…especially in the last year. Sometime things I wish I had never seen just jump out of box and say hi..but instead of feeding on them I just ask God to take the thoughts away.
Guys, we all have those moments where we feel like the walls are caving in around us. But if, we as followers of Christ, will just call on God and ask Him for help…He will. I promise.
It may not be overnight. It may take a few days. But that’s why hope is always so important. Hope in knowing that through our faith in God we can press on and keep going.
Hope in knowing that through the renewing of our mind that the walls will not press in and crush us.
Hope for a better tomorrow.