Do I Really Believe?


I have always believed in God. Even as a child, before I accepted Christ, I believed because my mom did.

As I grew older I would always pray asking for God to heal a friend or help me with a certain situation that was plaguing me. Very seldom were those prayers answered and I never could figure out why. And yet, I always knew that He would protect me and show up in a mighty way when it was the right time.

Nowadays, I have so much on my heart that is truly tearing me apart and it is affecting every area of my life.

Don’t get me wrong I still pray…all the time for my friends, loved ones and for myself but it’s just that now, honestly, I don’t believe that the prayers will be answered. It feels like God has kind of left me to suffer in silence and alone.

That falls on me and not God. My faith is still there but my knowledge of who God truly is has waivered here of late, which has caused my faith to falter as well.

I believe my answer lies within James chapter 1

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing of your faith produces patience.

Let patience finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 

Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

As, I said earlier I always believed in God. But to be honest here of late I have not truly been seeking Him. In order for me to get passed the struggles I am dealing with and attempt to move forward is to get closer to God. I have to get to know Him better.

I am so tired of being tossed around like a feather in a tornado. I have to get over my doubts that God just really doesn’t care about my happiness at times or that the desires of my heart matter little to Him.

Pray for me please as I seek God and figure out who I am in Him. For that abundant life that is promised I want and need.

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2 thoughts on “Do I Really Believe?”

  1. Totally understand where you are coming from Stuart. I have been struggling in this exact same area as well. I recently attended a class that our new pastor led on making a prayer / devotional time Here is the handout that is an outline of what he discussed.

    “To pray is to change. As Christians, we will either allow prayer to change and grow us in the image of Christ, or we will stop praying.” Richard Foster
    *** the primary purpose of prayer is to be transformed into the image of Christ, more and more. ***
    10 Tips On Spending An Hour With God:

    1.Preparation Time: settle in & focus on God.
    * Ask God to help you spend this time with Him
    * Declare your intention to obey Him
    * Use resources such as Bible verses, hymns, praise and worship to help you focus in on the person of God.
    * Be yourself with Him

    2. Waiting Time: find strength in waiting on God
    * Let God love you, using scripture on God’s love for us helps
    * Let His love drown out any fear, anxiety, trouble.
    * Let God search you
    * Let god set the agenda

    3. Confession Time: rationalized sin is a roadblock
    * Confess sin immediately
    * God is never surprised by what we do, so be honest

    4. Bible time: faith comes from hearing, hearing from God’s Word
    * Make God’s Word personal
    * Read and respond
    * Stop whenever God’s Spirit speaks to you
    * Write stuff down

    5. Meditation time: reflection on what you just read
    * How does it apply to my relationship with God
    * How does it apply to me personally
    * How does it apply to my spiritual journey
    * How does it apply to my relationship with others

    6. Application time: demonstrate love for God by obedience
    * Declare to God your intention to obey
    * Ask God to help you obey
    * Be honest if you can’t be obedient

    7. Faith time: wrestle with and admit your unbelief
    * Admit to God what you are struggling with concerning what He has asked you to do
    * Ask God to help you “want to” be obedient

    8. Intercession time: praying for others
    * Pray a blessing on others
    * Pray God’s will on people
    * Express thankfulness for people
    * Pray for leaders over you
    * Prayer can change the atmosphere of a situation

    9. Petition time: pray for personal needs
    * Pray “thy will be done”
    * Keep a journal of lessons learned and answered prayer
    * Be honest with your feelings

    10. Praise & thanksgiving time: out-loud verbal expression of gratefulness
    * Praise recognizes God for who He is
    * Thanksgiving recognizes God for what He has done/will do
    * When we praise God, He inhabits us
    * When we thank God, He blesses us

    Hope this will help you Stuart. You are in my prayers brother.
    Earl

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