Well I fell Wednesday. I looked at porn completely by accident.
I was reading various blogs and I decided to search porn addiction to get some new insights from various people. Wrong move. Can’t do that anymore because it seems that porn has made it to WordPress…in video form.
So..ummm…yeah. I really was not ready for that. Yet, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it for a what seemed like forever, though I know it was only like a minute. Maybe it was sheer shock of actually seeing it on a blog site that got me. Because I don’t go looking for it intentionally.
It was hard to stop looking once I realized what I was doing but not NEAR as hard as it would have been years ago.
Being without sex for as long as I have it really made my mind wonder. Stopping my mind was harder than it was to stop looking. So I sat my phone down and went outside into the coldness.
That worked…and faster than a cold shower…lol.
Anyway I just wanted to be real and share this with you guys. I am all about accountability. And you guys are part of that program for me. If I have let you down or disappointed any of you I am sorry. God has forgiven me, for I was quick with seeking His forgiveness, and I hope you will as well.
Lesson learned though…for sure. I will look up pornography recovery from now on and pray some nut does not tag their porn video post with it.
God Bless guys,