While Reading Various Blog Posts On WordPress Reader…I Saw Something I Shouldn’t Have


Well I fell Wednesday. I looked at porn completely by accident.

I was reading various blogs and I decided to search porn addiction to get some new insights from various people. Wrong move. Can’t do that anymore because it seems that porn has made it to WordPress…in video form.

So..ummm…yeah. I really was not ready for that. Yet, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it for a what seemed like forever, though I know it was only like a minute. Maybe it was sheer shock of actually seeing it on a blog site that got me. Because I don’t go looking for it intentionally.

It was hard to stop looking once I realized what I was doing but not NEAR as hard as it would have been years ago.

Being without sex for as long as I have it really made my mind wonder. Stopping my mind was harder than it was to stop looking. So I sat my phone down and went outside into the coldness.

That worked…and faster than a cold shower…lol.

Anyway I just wanted to be real and share this with you guys. I am all about accountability. And you guys are part of that program for me. If I have let you down or disappointed  any of you I am sorry. God has forgiven me, for I was quick with seeking His forgiveness, and I hope you will as well.

Lesson learned though…for sure. I will look up pornography recovery from now on and pray some nut does not tag their porn video post with it.

God Bless guys,
Stu

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4 thoughts on “While Reading Various Blog Posts On WordPress Reader…I Saw Something I Shouldn’t Have”

  1. So when you say fell. Does that mean you watched and masturbated or just looked and stopped? Not trying to be most. I’m just trying to understand. My long term boyfriend is an addict and use a computer for work on a regular basis and could it could have very easily have been him. Thanks for the info. I didn’t think WordPress would have it. Bad enough it’s on Twitter, Facebook and everywhere else. I hate technology for that very reason. I’m scared to death of vitual reality. What are your thoughts?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was long enough for me to get aroused but I did not masturbate to it at that moment..though sadly I did later that night. As I said in the post it has been years since I have had sex. (My own choice) And because it has been so long since I have watched or even viewed anything porn related it stayed in my mind for while.

      Each person is in a different place in their recovery. And with that, we have different ways of dealing with things we see or read. I will, usually when I am feeling lonely, avoid all media so as to not be tempted. I feel terrible about Wednesday night…because here I was trying to find some new insight into the addiction, new “remedies” to share with my readers and I end up doing the one thing I fought so hard not to do. Wednesday kind of crushed my spirits a little. But I immediately asked for forgiveness. I have reported the blog site and will no longer use that term when trying to do research.

      I stay away from our computers at work because one thing most people do not realize is that every website visited is kept..even in the incognito mode. All the corporate folks have to do is ask their internet providers for the information on links visited.

      I am terrified of virtual reality. I watched a video on it when the “newest” version of it was released. They said that if a person was to view pornography using it..it would be as if they are playing a first person video game. That one could actually reach out to touch a breast and it would be their hand they see. Scary!!

      It will have a devastating effect on those trying to stop. I will not be involved with it at all…regardless of the monetary price tag when It is released to the public.

      Please feel free to ask any questions or comment on anything. I am an open book, as I feel honesty IS the best policy. Being real is the only way for people to understand that I have been there and that it can be overcome.

      If you to ask more questions you can do so here, private message me on Facebook or send me an email at stubaby777@gmail.

      Remember, if you see something on Twitter, Facebook, WordPress and Tumblr you can report and/or block said person/page/site. I do it all the time.

      God bless,
      Stu

      Liked by 1 person

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