The other day while playing catch-up on Facebook, I ran across a friend of mine who is really having a hard time right now. I messaged this person and we chatted for a little over an hour. He shared with me some of the issues that have led to the emotional state in which he is in.
I let him release some steam first, which for some reason included cursing me out. He then proceeded to share with me the fact that he had a gun in his hand. We continued chatting without me asking about the gun because I did not want his mind on it. But from the conversation I truly felt that he would have taken his life.
So shortly after him ending our chat I sent a prayer request to my prayer warriors and went to work finding some info. If it was true about the gun I had to do something.
I tried calling him via Facebook which resulted in no answer. I contacted the police department in two separate states. Sadly, all I could do was give them was his name and age since I did not have his physical address.
I felt horrible all day long. Just the thought that several of his friends on Facebook tried to reach out to him to no avail and the fact that if he did take his own life I was the last person he may have talked to just tore me apart. It really shattered my heart in a way that I have only felt once before. I did the same thing that time. I got my prayer warriors together and called the cops.
Now, I personally have not met this friend in person yet I care for him. Just as I do all my friends whether they be on social media or people I have known for years and still stay in contact with. It’s just who I am.
I would do the same thing for anyone regardless of race, sexual orientation or religious beliefs.
Suicidal thoughts are not good. I have had them myself several times in the course of my life. I even tried to act on those thoughts once. Thank God it did not work. If so I would never have met my wife, reconnected with old friends, meet new loved ones much less have two wonderful and adorable children.
I know all too well that life can be hard at times. I also know that we sometimes get ticked off at God for allowing things to happen to us or to someone we love. I have cursed God out several times in my life for some of the things that have happened to me.
But we should not allow our anger with life’s’ issues to fester to the point of hating God much less ourselves. When we allow ourselves to get to that point we can really end up making more mistakes and some of those can be life threatening.
We all deal with a lot of crap in life. We each deal with said crap differently. Some folks self-medicate their sorrows with drugs, sex or alcohol. Some deal with their issues by becoming depressed and hiding from the world to the point where they feel they actually have no one to turn to. I can understand all of these. I have done them all with the exception of the drugs. But dealing with issues like that never makes the original problem go away let alone being dealt with.
Through my suicidal thoughts and dealing with all that life can throw at me the one thing that I have learned is that there is always someone who loves me enough to help. I am honored enough to have some amazing friends and loved ones. But the main one who cares and loves me is none other than the same one I can get mad at the most…God.
I have found that despite my anger issues with God and life He is still the Creator, He is still Holy and Sovereign, and He still loves me. And despite all my choices which led to most of my issues in life He wants what is best for me. He also loves you and wants the best for you.
If any of you feel broken, beaten down, alone and depressed please know that there is someone out there for you to talk to. They may not have gone through exactly what you are going through at this moment, but I guarantee you that they will be willing to listen to you, pray for you and show you love. Please do not give up on life, love and hope. Reach out to someone today.