I truly am kind of worried at moment. It seems as if my time battling porn and sexual desires may have taken their toll on me.
Not in the line of I have no desire for sex. I want sex and I want it from my wife…only.
We, my wife and I, have been working on renewing our marriage after being separated for over 4 years. We have decided to take it slow as neither of us want this to end the way it did last time.
With that said…we have not had sex yet. We are touching each other throughout the day. We are hugging and kissing. As I said..taking it slow.
What I am concerned with is in the fact that I get aroused with the kisses and the hugs…but because I have fought so hard to keep my mind at bay I fear I have done damage to my libido. When we kiss and hug I get a slight rise but it disappears so quickly.
Maybe it is time to start praying in the opposite direction. I have been asking God to heal my mind while taking communion twice a week. The communion alone has done wonders in regards to no lustful thoughts at all, but maybe I should be praying for a better physical heart and vein system. One that will pump the blood where it needs to go and when.
Possibly it is just my brain knowing that nothing will happen because we have agreed to waiting that it is just giving me enough rise to let me know it still works.
I’m just unsure. And that bothers me. I do not want to let my wife down in bed anymore. I did that enough over the years. I do not want to see the look of disappointment in my wife’s eyes again…ever.
Just asking for prayer while I seek guidance and clarity in this. Thanks guys.