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This is such a wonderful post by my dear brother in Christ
Dan Wobschall over at Every Man’s Hope. We are both in the Facebook support group Freedom Begins Here Men’s Group for men who suffer with a struggle with porn. 

I wish more husbands would realize this statement:

Intimacy in your bedroom is really the fruit of a relationship filled with intimate moments. Non-sexual touches, loving words, conversations and just being in each others presence. 

Please take a moment out of you day to stop by and visit Dan’s website. You will not regret it as there are many great posts there.



The most physical expression of love and intimacy is love making, or sex to be blunt. Yes, I do confess that the use of the word sex gets more attention then, ‘making love’ would in the title. 

Guilty. But your here reading this aren’t you?

Sex is the most amazing when in the context in which it was designed and created to be experienced. Yet outside of that design it can, and usually does inflict deep wounds, some of which live on in people for a lifetime. 

When carried into a marriage relationship, those wounds create barriers, build walls and prevent one of the most amazing experiences from being just that. 

God created sex. He created man and woman to experience it together. Together in the bond of marriage. 

Any use of sex outside of the bonds of marriage is sin. Sin that separates us from God. Marriage was and is created to be between man and woman. 

That’s not my opinion, its the original Creators design. It’s in His owners manual (the Bible) for mankind. 

The Point
Allow me to demonstrate my point this way. There is a unique intimate bond that is created in the physical uniting (making love/having sex) of man and woman. That bond was not meant to be broken. 

Much like taking two pieces of cardboard, gluing them together and then later taking them apart, damage will happen. Scare leaving damage and at times unrepairable damage.

Anytime we have marriage outside the bonds of marriage, or when a marriage is torn apart the damage is just as real, and as I indicated earlier, long lasting. 

God tells us in Matthew 19:4-6 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Emphasis mine)

I can’t make it more clear than that.

Intimacy
The sexual relationship between husband and wife is the most intimate piece of their relationship. Pornography is the great destroyer of that intimate bond, by reducing the deeply bonding physically mingling of souls to an act. Void of meaning and viewed as a self serving pleasure. 

I wrote about more about how porn destroys intimacy and how I came to realize in the midst of struggling to intimately reconnect with my wife, what the problem was. Read the full article; by – Porn: The Intimacy Killer 

Intimacy is more than Sex
Intimacy in your bedroom is really the fruit of a relationship filled with intimate moments. Non-sexual touches, loving words, conversations and just being in each others presence. 

Speaking into your wife’s life on a daily basis brings a level of passion during those physically intimate moments that without them, you cannot experience. Here are just a couple of tips for you in this regard.

  • Opening doors for her
  • Expressing your love for her, verbally
  • Holding her hand in public and in private
  • Helping her with dishes or laundry (Yes that actually speaks intimacy..not kidding!)
  • Lead your home spiritually and boldly
  • Demonstrate love for your children to your wife
  • Go grocery shopping together and have fun with it 
  • Listen intently, listen intently and listen intently

This is certainly not the end all list, however my experience in relationship to Julie proves that these speak caring intimacy to her. I do them because she enjoys them and honestly so do I. 

Find common ground on these types of things and watch the bedroom intimacy blossom. God created sex to be more than just an act. It’s a bonding of souls, bodies and spirit….everytime. 

Solomon Says
King Solomon by divine guidance gives us verses to reflect upon as we think of our wives. Song of Songs 4:3-5
“Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; 
    your mouth
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.”


Reading the entire chapter 4 of Song of Songs will give you a great picture of how Solomon guides us to view our wives. 

Give intimacy a boost in your marriage. It is so rewarding, I can’t even begin to tell you. 

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