So many decisions in life. It does not matter where I turn they are always there. It’s just a fact of life I guess but sometimes, honestly I just get tired of making them. Sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock and hide. Yet, I know that will do no good at all, as the things that brought that decision into my life will not go away by me trying to hide. I know there are many more people who feel the same way as I do and one of those people might just be you dear friend.
The hard part for me is not getting to that crossroad where I must choose which choice or path to take but rather it is the decision-making process. After making so many wrong decisions and going down so many wrong roads for so many years I now try to make the right ones. That is the hard part. There are, many times, just way too many factors to take into account.
What happens when I get to that fork in the road and take the left one because I feel that is the one to take when actually I should have taken the right. When I get to that fork and look both ways they both seem solid enough. No shady areas. Yet one is not the right path for me at all.
Maybe I take a look and one of them is very rocky and the other is nice and straight. Natural instinct tells me to take the nice and easy one of the two. But in hind sight it was the rocky one I should have taken because the rocks would have made me look to God on how to get over them and not try to lean on my own understanding.
I can not be reckless in any decision any longer. I have Brandon and Erin I must think about at all times. Being a parent is a very big responsibility. Every choice I make can affect them temporarily or for life. I must be careful. I mean, come on….decisions I made years before they were born are still affecting me today. I now have to weigh in their outcome into my decisions.
I also must take into consideration how a decision may affect my future wife, if the Lord allows to me to remarry. I am not ready for that fork in the road by any stretch of the imagination. Despite my loneliness at times I can not and will not make a rash decision based on that alone.
Then there is my walk with God. The God that sent His son to die on the cross for my sins. The God that actually cares about the little and big things in my life. I do not want to let Him down anymore. Yet…..I know I will.
I know for a fact that I will mess up again and more than likely more than once. Thankfully I can take comfort in the fact that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Prayerfully my next wrong turn will not be as bad or difficult as my journey down the porn road. I should not have chosen the path I did. Little did I know back then where that path would really take me. It was only for a quick thrill at first. Yet, I have been so ashamed and guilt ridden over the years. Those two are bad enough consequences for the wrong chose much less all the other things associated with an addiction to porn like a lower sex drive for my wife, short-term memory loss, libido not doing what it should, being unfaithful to her in my mind and the different outlook I had towards women and men in general.
Praise God I got off that road! It was a long road though…
But as Romans 8:28 states, things worked out for good. I did learn a lot about the struggle and addictive side of pornography. Though it was not while in it but as I was getting out of it did I learn those things. I also learned the most important part. Apart from God freedom does not exist. And I take that message and hope to others as a speaker, accountability partner and through random thoughts on Facebook, Twitter and here with you,
We all come to these crossroads. We have chooses to make and ponder. We must weigh all options prior to taking that right or left turn at the fork in the road. That can be right where the tricky part is. A lot of times both paths look safe and sound at first glance. Yet, only one of those roads are the one that God had chosen for you to take. Sadly, more times than we care to admit, we take the wrong road. And we end up in situations or struggles that were not planned for us.
God has a plan for each and every one of us. Yet, we have the choose to not follow that plan, path or road. And even then God is still with us , loving us and helping us….meticulously or miraculously if you will, directing us back to His chosen path. Regardless of the road you choose, prayer is the most effective way to ensure safe passage. Seek God daily along your journey. Ask Him to direct your path and He will make your path easier to travel.
Psalms 18:30-36 (KJV)
30 As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proved; He is a shield to all
those who trust in Him.
31 For who is God save the Lord? Or who is a rock, save our God?
32 It is God who girdeth me with strength, and maketh my path perfect.
33 He maketh my feet like hinds (deer) feet, and setteth me upon my high places.
34 He teacheth my hands to was so that a bow of bronze is broken by mine hands.
35 Thou hast also given me the shield of the salvation; and thy right hand hath held me up,
and thy gentleness hath made me great.
36 Thou hast enlarged my steps under me,, that my feet did not slip.
God bless guys! Have a great week!
If you need prayer and would like for me to pray for you please feel free to share them in the comments. You may also send them to my email address stubaby777@gmail. Know that I will pray for you.