If you are new to my little journey this may seem weird. For those who have been with me for a while…well, this will be normal. So, with that being said, here we go.
For some reason unbeknownst to me God put me in Keithville, Louisiana and then Shreveport, Louisiana for my formidable years. It was in those years that my life became unmanageable and it just progressed as I got older. Oh, so many thought I was a good little boy but deep inside I was fighting demon after demon. And I lost more fights than I care to remember honestly.
I mean come on I had a disconnected dad, a mom with major back issues, molestation at the hands of a family friend and then at a public restroom on two different occasions and watching teens have sex on the playground under the swings where I went to play Tarzan after school among other things. But today God reminded me of something else that happened to me while shopping with my mom and sister at an Albertson’s in Shreveport. It was back to school shopping. Girls and boys, a like, were picking out school supplies. I was looking at the supplies while my mom and my sister were grocery shopping.
And this elderly gentleman (well I say elderly he could have been in his thirties for all I know, but hey I was in elementary school so he was old) comes up to me and whispers “I have something to show you.” And show me he did..just not what you think. He pulled up his jeans just a little to reveal a mirror taped or glued to his shoe. He then proceeded to show me that when you have a mirror on your shoe you can look up girls dresses as they walk by. Not something to show someone like me. I never did that mind you but the point remains. I have had a lot of sexual crap happen in 46 years that most people will never go through…THANK GOD!
But when God reminded me of that this morning it came with something else of importance. Sad thing about it is this….I have used this phrase so many times when helping men in their marriage as far as taking care of their wives needs in and out the marriage bed. But never in the context of addiction or thoughts.
Here is what He said:
That was a bad seed planted in you that day. And you did ponder the idea, which means you watered it. You turned your sprinkler on and watered that thought. Son, I know you did not act on it but you did give it some water and it did grow. It along with others became weeds in the garden of your mind. It is time to pull those weeds up by the root, son. And I am going to help you along, with the others I put in your path because I chose them just for this task. Trust me, son.
Of course I said yes, I trust you God.
My question to you is this:
Where is your sprinkler set up? Is it on the rocks like mine was or is yours set up on the good soil which will produce fruit from the good seeds and not weeds? If it is on the rocks…move that joker to good soil for you, your marriage, your mental and sexual stability and your walk with God.