Man I so wanted my dad to spend time with me growing up. So I took up hunting, fishing and even golf to be able to spend time with him. I wanted to be as good as my dad at playing golf so I practiced everyday all day during the summers. Got really good to the point where I was considering going pro after high school. I loved the game and I loved those few hours spent with my dad.
Moving up almost 30 years into my life..I have a son now. And guess what? He wants to spend time with me. Now granted, due to my separation I only get to see him twice a week but every moment spent with my little buddy is precious to me. Even those aggravating times when he will not go to sleep because he does want more time with me. We even wear the same color shirts sometimes because he picks them out. I love my son.
On many occasions he has told me “Dad, when I grow up I want to be just like you.” And everytime he says that I tear up…for two reasons. Number one is that he does love and admire me enough to want to be like me. Number two is that I don’t want him to be like me..because to be like me he would have to go through the same lessons I did. He doesn’t know that his dad was an alcoholic and sex addict. What he sees in me is what God has done in me in the last few years of my journey.
Now, please do not get me wrong I AM honored that he wants to be like me but I would prefer he be better than me. Especially in his walk with God.
I want him to strive to be like his Heavenly father. And don’t want him to have to “dress” like a Christian..you know what I am talking about with the shirts and necklaces. I want people to look at my son and say he is a Christian by his walk not his clothes. I want him to achieve far greater things than I ever dreamed. I want him to be so close to God that there is an aura around him that just draws people to him to find out what it is that makes him unique. And then I want him to smile and say Jesus.
I pray daily that I can be a Godly father that can guide both my son and my daughter to be Godly, to read their Bible daily, to pray daily and love others.